Voyeur 9

Voyeur 9: Amending

Chapter Summary:
Balustrade: It’s 2 a.m., and the same night they’ve reunited and made up.  There’s a storm outside.  Daniel wakes up, goes out to the balcony.  Jack surprises him with restrictive al fresco sex.
Permission: A few days later, Jack and Daniel get together and there’s a discussion Jack wants to have about letting Daniel top and his negative history with being on the receiving end.  They discuss issues of rape and Daniel finally brings up Hathor.
Quote: “I’m Your Man”, Wham(George Michael)


 

Baby I’m your man
If you’re gonna do it, do it right
Right
Do it with me

 


 

Balustrade

 

Daniel awoke needing to relieve himself and groaned as he rolled out of bed.  The air was a bit stifling and he heard the rumble of thunder.  Typical of August.  Or was it?  His recollection wasn’t too keen at the moment.  His mind was a bit scrambled.  Afterglow special, he thought, and smiled to himself.

He flushed and padded out to the kitchen, saw the mess, and grimaced.  “Shit.”  He went back to put on sweats and flip-flops before returning to the kitchen to clean up the mess.  It didn’t take long.  To his surprise, the glass hadn’t shattered into a billion bits, nor was there powder behind.  Decent glassware, and he hadn’t paid that much for it.  Go figure.

Once the kitchen was squared away, he fixed himself a glass of iced water and drank half of it down.  He sighed happily, then refilled it for Jack.  More thunder rumbled and strangely, it didn’t match the heavy rain.  He went out onto the balcony, and the humidity hit him like a sticky gust of wind.  The rain itself was warm, which was weird for Colorado.  They did get the warm ones once in a while, however, and Daniel decided to take advantage of it.

It was perfect out here in the dark, getting wet and listening to the sky rumble.  Lightning was in the distance and hopefully, it wouldn’t come his way for a while.  He’d always loved storms.  He never knew why.  It had an odd contradictory effect on his nervous system: thrilling-but-calming.  Of course, there were storms, like the one now.  And then there were the nasty ones that weren’t so much thrilling as terrifying, where the noise level was hard on your ears and made you flinch.  But regular old mild thunder, like this, after a hot day, was welcome.

Motion from behind gave him enough warning before the strong arms of the man he loved slid around his waist.  The man he loved.  How long would that sound new and odd?

“Whatcha doin’?” Jack asked next to his ear.

Daniel tilted his head away, tickled by the murmur vibrating against his ear.  “Enjoying the storm.”

“It’s perfectly dark out here.”

“It’s two a.m.,” Daniel said, as if that explained everything.

“It most certainly is,” Jack said, and snuffled his neck.  And added a little bite.  Then another.

Daniel smiled.  “Whatcha doin’?” he copied.  “Did you wake up a bit on the amorous side?  You do remember that we have to get up in four hours?”

Jack chuckled and nipped his earlobe.  “Round three.  Right here.”

Daniel sputtered.  “Are you crazy?  We’ll get seen and heard.  Skin shows in the dark, Jack.”

“Who said anything about getting naked?” Jack said.

Daniel rolled his eyes, but his body was responding to the hard dick sliding against his sweats.  He looked down at his side and found that Jack had fished out his navy sweats.  They were a bit short.  He snorted.  “You look damn sexy,” he said, half-joking.  Truth be told, he did look sexy because he wasn’t wearing a shirt and those sweats rode rather low.  “And we’re not wearing shirts.  Did I mention how skin shows?”

Jack ran his hands down Daniel’s thighs.  “I could hardly see you from inside the apartment.”  Fingers slid inside the back of his waistband.  “I think we’ll be okay.”

“You just want to indulge your exhibitionist side,” Daniel said, but he made no move to stop him.  He tightly gripped the railing.  “You’re gonna have to stand a lot closer.”

“I intend to,” Jack said, and he did.  He snuggled up against him, then the fingers in the waistband pulled the sweats down until his ass was exposed enough for use.  Daniel felt his cock and realized he’d already exposed what he needed to.  “Think we can do this?” Jack asked.  He stepped an inch closer, shutting off any remaining space between them, and wrapped his arms around his upper body.  He thrust a bit, sliding his cock between his cheeks and the cockhead pressed against his hole a few times but never breached it.

Daniel swallowed.  “Try,” was all he managed to say.  Too many answers had been on his lips.  Many of them were arguments ‘against’.  He thought of something else and managed to add, “Maybe you’ll get it on the first tr—”  The last word ended in a long, drawn-out ‘eye’ because Jack was abruptly inside him in one hard push.

“Shhh,” Jack said very quietly.

The rain was coming down harder now and Daniel knew that if it had been quiet, his short outburst would have been heard.  But not now.  He white-knuckled the railing and tried like hell not to bend over.  It would make it obvious to anyone who might somehow be watching.

“Hold still,” Jack murmured in his ear.

Daniel complied, and Jack began to move in tiny increments; he couldn’t go any more than that.  It really wasn’t going to get them anywhere, he thought, until Jack slid one hand down and inside his sweats to take hold of his cock.

“There you are,” Jack said, and his expert hand went to work.  “Just stand there for me and try not to move.  In fact, I challenge you not to make a sound.”

Minutes passed and Daniel was in ecstasy but having trouble meeting Jack’s challenge.  He wanted to bend over.  He wanted to moan.  Small sounds escaped every time he exhaled and now Jack was taking chances because he was thrusting with more movement.  The rain had soaked them long before and his sweats were sodden.  And moving down a fraction of an inch every few thrusts.

Jack’s hand was moving much faster, as were his hips.  Daniel could tell he was going to come when he felt his lover’s cock swell within him and heard the harsh ‘tell’ in his breathing.  A few seconds later, he was doing just that, then he suddenly pulled out and turned Daniel around as he dropped to his knees.  He used a combination of strokes and sucking and Daniel couldn’t help but thrust into his hand and mouth.  Harsh gasps were no longer held back and his fingers hurt, gripping the railing too hard.  But he couldn’t stop.  Didn’t want Jack to stop.  And going by the feverish pleasure on his lover’s face, he wasn’t going to until he had Daniel spilling his seed.

“Come for me, baby,” Jack said, and Daniel read his lips because he couldn’t hear him.  Thunder rumbled loudly over their heads and the combination, paired with his stroking hand, made Daniel cry out.  He bit his lips together afterward as he came and did it down Jack’s throat.  He winced and jerked because the wretched man kept sucking and it was so goddamn good.  Daniel dropped to his knees and kissed the hell out of him.

After a minute, he stepped out of his sweats and left them on the balcony.  And so did Jack.  Water dripped everywhere on their way to the shower, where they warmed up and washed each other down.

“Jesus, Jack,” Daniel said, leaning against the shower wall.

“Yes?” Jack asked, with that devastating grin.

“Oh shut up.”

Jack leaned over and kissed him.  “I’ve always wanted to do that, you know.”

Daniel sighed.  “Actually, so have I.  Take that one off the bucket list.”

“You had that on the bucket list?” Jack asked, amused.

“Well,” Daniel said, frowning.  “No.  But it would have been.  Now …”

“Now we just have to test other balconies.”

Daniel groaned.  “I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

“No, I don’t.  But I should.”

“Really?” Jack asked, and dropped to his knees.

“Oh no you don’t,” Daniel protested.  “No, no, no, no, no.  You are not going to wind me up again.  It’ll take forever and your knees can’t take it.”

Jack rose back up.  “Yeah, you’re right.”

Daniel eyed him, but everything seemed safe when they were warm and dry and back under the covers.  Until Jack slithered down the bed.  Daniel made a whimpering sound but again, he didn’t try to stop him.  Not for anything.

 


 

Permission

 

For the next three days, Daniel found that there was a strange but workable dichotomy in his relationship with Jack.  Theirs was a full relationship, but he wasn’t quite sure what kind, and he’d have to broach the subject whether Jack liked it or not.

At home, whether his or Jack’s, their life together so far revolved around simple talk and energetic sex.  Jack was forty-three now, but his hair was graying at an alarming rate.  It was still sexy because he was sexy, but it made Daniel think he was older than he said he was.  However, that applied only to his hair.  Sexually, and apart from past knee injuries, Jack didn’t have any of the slowing-down problems a man had when he passed forty.  At work, there was the expected professional conduct, sprinkled heavily with bickering or banter, depending on the subject, and the two missions they’d gone on were blessedly short and uneventful.

It was after two in the afternoon and Daniel realized that his muscles were bunched up because he’d been in one spot.  Again.  He stood up and stretched, grimacing at the soreness of back muscles that had nothing to do with the blissful sex he’d been enjoying.  With a groan, he shut off his computer and pulled out his cellphone.  He hit Teal’c’s number.

“Daniel Jackson,” his Jaffa friend said.  “What can I do for you?”

One of these days, Daniel thought, he’d get Teal’c to speak normally.  “I’m heading up to the gym.  Would you care to join me?”

“I am already there,” Teal’c said.

Daniel detected a trace of humor in his voice.  “Right.  See you in a few.”  He hung up before Teal’c could tease, which he’d started doing not that long ago, finally breaking that stoic visage with something a lot more human.  He arrived in the locker room to grab his workout bag, then headed for the gym.  Along the way, he was glad to note that he didn’t get any more attention than he normally did, which meant that his sexual relationship with Robert hadn’t been base-wide nor spread around like gossip.  He was still thinking about him, and mostly because the man was most likely dead.  If Daniel had his way, the death penalty would be outlawed and everyone in the NID would be in jail.

He arrived at the gym lockers and put his bag inside one of them, locked it, and put the key in a little man purse along with his phone and keycard.  He headed for the workout room, where there were mats, free weights, and two long rows of strength training machines.  He found Teal’c walking out of the large room and frowned.

“You’re leaving already?”

“I have been here for some time,” Teal’c said.  “But if you need assistance, O’Neill is remaining behind.”

Daniel’s brows went up.  “Oh.  Right.  Thanks, Teal’c.”

“Anytime, Daniel Jackson.”

’Daniel’, Teal’c.  How many times must I tell you that you don’t need to use our last names?”

Teal’c inclined his head, then dipped it in a sidelong bow.  “I believed it was showing respect.”  He paused, then added, “It became habit, Daniel.”

“I know but come on.”  He then saw Teal’c’s slow smile appearing at the corners of his eyes, but not his mouth.  “Oh, ha ha.  You’re hilarious.  Hey, when are you going to start the martial art training class?  The defensive ones are useful but I’d like to learn more.”

Teal’c grew abruptly serious.  “Next month.  General Hammond has informed me that it will be the most appropriate and convenient time because personnel evaluations will be due a month after that.”  He frowned and Daniel recognized it as Teal’c Confused.

“What?”

“Why is defense training not implemented already?”

“Did you ask Hammond that?  Or Jack?”

Teal’c shook his head, looking resigned.  “I did not think to, no.”

“Oh.  Well, I can’t answer you because I have no clue either.  After Jack’s done, ask him.”

“I cannot.  O’Neill said he will be going home.”

Daniel’s brows went up and he looked past Teal’c to the workout room.  “He say why?”

“He did not.”

“Huh.”

Teal’c suddenly grinned.  “Perhaps it has something to do with you.”

“I doubt it,” Daniel said, smirking back with a trace of annoyance.

“Perhaps he has a few things on his mind?”

“Maybe,” Daniel allowed.

“Have a good training session.  I will see you later.”

Daniel nodded and went into the room.  At the far end, working on the pre-weighted bench press, Jack was in the middle of an upward push when he came over.

“Jack,” Daniel greeted.

“Daniel,” Jack said, his voice straining as he slowly released the weight and the handles.  He sat up.  “What’s up?”

“Need to work some oxygen into my back muscles.  They’re all bunched up.”

“That from too much exercise at home?” Jack asked, lying back down.

“Ha ha.  No, it’s thanks to my not moving for the last three hours.”

“Doing the magnifying glass examinations?”

Daniel was surprised that Jack had guessed correctly.  The man was finally taking notice.  “Yeah,” he drawled.  He walked across the room to the towel hub and grabbed one before returning to Jack’s corner of the room.  He sat down at one of the leg presses, where he always began his sessions.  There was no one else in the gym besides himself and Jack and he found it refreshing.  He didn’t have to worry about lookie-loos.  They always seemed to find it amusing that Doctor Daniel Jackson was interested in strength training.  But for fuck’s sake, why?  He had to improve because they did a lot of walking and running on missions, never mind getting into the occasional fight with the locals.

He was on his last rep when Jack startled him with a question.  “Tell me about what went on between you and Makepeace.”

Daniel let the weight fall heavily, making a loud clang.  He got up and moved to the bench press, next to Jack.  “What’s to tell?” he asked.  “And why do you want to know?”

“I’ve been talking to Dave,” Jack informed him.  His voice was tight, thanks to the heavier weight he’d changed on his machine.

“Regarding?”

“Daniel.”

He sounded annoyed.

“I’m not trying to be difficult, Jack.  And pardon me for making assumptions, but I’m going to guess that Dave told you a few things.  So, I’ll sum up.  I had sex with Robert a couple of times but I couldn’t keep going after he was leader of the team because he was a constant reminder that you weren’t there.  He really didn’t like that idea.  He came over and acted as if I owed him a fuck.  He was purposely scary, and in my opinion, that was his way of warning me that something was wrong.”

As he spoke, Jack stopped what he was doing and sat up on the bench and turned toward him.  He finally toed Daniel’s side, so he stopped pressing the weight bar and sat up to face him.

“You’re sure?” he asked.

Daniel nodded.  “His behavior was really off.  I don’t claim to know him, but he was acting just as squirrely as you were.  It was sudden and contradictory to established behavior.  Here’s this Jarhead who liked watching me orgasm and gave me one of the most intense experiences of my life.  Then suddenly there’s this possessive freak who thought he owned me.”  Daniel paused as Jack raised his brows.  “It wasn’t normal.  So I went to see him in his cell.”

“Yeah, I know all that.  But what really happened between you?”

Daniel frowned.  “What’re you getting at?  You think he raped me and I’m not willing to admit it or confess to you?”  When Jack looked away and stood up, Daniel rolled his eyes and sighed.  “For cryin’ out loud,” he muttered under his breath.

Jack heard him anyway.  “Can you blame me for worrying?”

“No, but …”

Jack chewed at his lip and nodded.  “I needed to hear you say it.”

Daniel hated that Jack was pacing and not looking at him.  He got up and went over, taking him by the arm and forcing him to meet his gaze.  “It never happened.  If it had, I’d have told you.  I’d have …”  He swallowed.  “Needed you.”  Like I needed you two years ago.

Jack nodded, then sighed.  “I know.  But there’s kind of a point.”

Daniel reached up to caress his cheek but stepped away before he finished the gesture.  “Let’s go home and talk about it.”  Daniel had a bad feeling.

 

.*.

 

When they arrived at Jack’s, the man made them both ‘Jack & Cokes and afterward went to change clothes.  While he was doing that, Daniel tried to prepare himself for whatever Jack was going to reveal.  He sincerely hoped he hadn’t been raped in Iraq.  He could imagine dealing with it because it had happened to him with Hathor.  And telling Jack about it, making him see it for what it was, would be just as difficult.  They’d never had that conversation and it was going to be hard to bring it up because Daniel knew how men’s attitudes were about rape by a woman: it didn’t exist.  They simply refused to believe that, yes, it most certainly did.

They sat down in the living room as Jack handed him the whiskey and Coke.  The TV had been left on; Daniel knew that Jack did it to fool potential burglars.  While the security system itself would notify him if there were any changes, as well as having an offsite record of all active cameras monitoring the perimeter, Jack still felt like a little deterrent was called for.

His … lover … picked up the remote and shut it off, then set it on the coffee table and took a seat.  Creating distance, Daniel thought, as Jack sat down almost two yards away at the other end of the couch.  Daniel had a habit of choosing the arm end of a sofa, so maybe this distance was partly his own doing.  Unaware, perhaps, but he was still guilty—if that was the proper adjective.  A few quiet minutes went by and Daniel hated himself, but he lost patience waiting for Jack to pick up where they left off.

“So,” he said softly.  “Why worry?”

Jack took a deep breath and sighed.  He stared at his Coke, then took a long drink.  Wiping the moisture off his upper lip created by the ice in the glass, he rubbed both lips together afterward and cleared his throat.  “I had a … problem in Iraq.  Back when Kuwait was invaded.  While their army was a sad piece of crap, Hussein had private security forces that weren’t.  I’d led a mission and we got caught in an ambush.  I was left behind.  I was in a prison for four months before the war forced them to abandon their position and leave me unguarded.”  He looked up and gave Daniel a sad and very brief smile.

“What happened?” Daniel asked.

“Their particular brand of sadism is cloaked behind the façade of Islam in the same way Christian cultists shroud their own psychopathy behind the bible.  I learned that, in that prison.  From both religions.  The guards weren’t a problem.  They were regular Army.  But the men who ran the prison probably made Gitmo look petty and amateurish.”

Daniel winced.  “They used rape, you know.  At Gitmo.  Anal feeding is rape.”

“Yeah,” Jack said, staring into his Coke again.  “It was the traditional form in Iraq.  Rape was, and is, a common tool of torture and it doesn’t need a war or a battle to be used against prisoners.  But these guys had gotten plenty of thrills watching the resisting victims, so they started drugging them.  Us.  Me.”  Jack paused and looked up.  “Do you remember that moment in the supply room on the infirmary floor when you were suffering withdrawal from the sarcophagus?”

Daniel cringed this time as he nodded.  He wrapped his arms around himself.  “Yeah.”

“Do you remember what I said about your addiction?”

Daniel frowned, thinking, then his brows rose.  “You said ‘I know what this is’.  So that’s why?  They got you addicted to heroin?”

Jack nodded, but he looked puzzled.  “How do you know it was heroin?”

“Educated guess,” Daniel said.  “Heroin is the second largest money-maker in the Middle East outside of oil.  Afghanistan has huge poppy fields.  Some say the world’s largest supply of heroin comes from there.”

Jack nodded.  “They started injecting us about a week before I broke out and escaped.  I hijacked a jeep and headed north.  I made it to the Turkish border.  When I got home, I had to deal with happened as well as get sober and kick that habit.”

“Were you …” Daniel began, leaving it open.

“Not precisely,” Jack said.  “I would have been by the torturers.  It was next on their list of ‘activities’.”  He made air quotes.  “They had already been doing it to others and having fellow prisoners rape each other.  Technically, they didn’t know they were doing it because they were zoned out on heroin.  Motherfuckers found it hilarious.”  Jack took a big breath.  “I participated in that.”  He paused again.

“Drug-induced sex isn’t rape,” Daniel told him, “when both parties are under the influence.  We both know that.”

“Yes,” Jack said, drawing out the word.  “But it was wrong.  I topped.  I bottomed.  And nothing done was … loving or gentle.  When I got home, there was about a two-week period where I hooked up with heroin dealers and visited gay bars.  My head wasn’t in a good place.”  He hesitated again.

“And again, you were on the receiving end of badly-done sex?”

Jack nodded.  “Thing is, Daniel.  I went out looking for pain.  So I allowed bottoming to be rough, drowned in heroin.  For this reason, I haven’t ever done it again.  Sober.”

Daniel hated his selfish thoughts, telling him he’d never get a chance to be inside him, but they were secondary to the enormous amount of sympathy and pain he felt for him.  “I’ve been on that side of it.”  When Jack looked at him, he added, “I mean, getting deliberate pain instead of loving treatment.  Wasn’t rape because I wanted to have the sex.  It just went all wrong.  Took me a while to bottom again and then only with men I knew would treat me right.”

“Makepeace didn’t.  That first time.”

Daniel winced.  “My judgment hasn’t always been good.  But he wasn’t brutal with me.  There’s that … feeling, you know?  When it’s purposely painful?”

Jack nodded.  “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“Me, too.  For you, I mean.”

“And I’m glad you weren’t raped,” Jack said, sighing with obvious relief as he closed his eyes.

“Not this time,” Daniel said slowly, looking into his drink.  He couldn’t look to see what expression was on his face.

“What?” Jack said, alarmed.  He leaned toward him, but he didn’t come any closer.  “When?  Who?  One of those bastards that—”

“No.”  When Jack frowned, puzzled, Daniel took a deep breath and closed his eyes.  “Hathor, Jack.  None of you ever realized that what she did to me was rape.  She assaulted you, but at least it wasn’t sexual.”  He waited.  Seconds passed.  Jack said nothing.  He opened his eyes and stared into his drink, then forced himself to look at him.

Jack didn’t have doubt or disbelief on his face, but he wasn’t frowning in confusion, and did he look thoughtful, either.  He sighed and got to his feet.  “You don’t believe me.”  He started to turn away but Jack got up, leaned across, and grabbed his hand and pulled him back on the couch.  He was now only a few feet away and facing a man he still couldn’t read.  It was maddening.

“Why didn’t you say back then?”

Daniel’s brows rose.  “Are you kidding?”

“No,” Jack said, now frowning in recognizable confusion.

“Why would I have?  All of you knew what had happened and acted as if I simply got laid by an alien woman.”

Jack winced this time.  Daniel waited.  He hoped an apology was coming.  He hoped it with all his heart.

“You’re right,” Jack said.  “That’s how we all thought of it.”

“Did Sam ever tell you how she found me afterword?”

“No,” Jack replied.  “It was in her report.”

“Her report said she found me listless and unresponsive.”

“Yeah,” Jack nodded, frowning again.

“I wasn’t.  I was in shock and pain.  Damn near catatonic.  It lasted for about an hour.  Then that bitch came in and blew that nish’ta in my face again and there I was again.  Her thrall.  Her sex toy.”  Daniel ground his jaw and tears came to his eyes.  He got up and turned away, wiping them away.  “She raped me three times, Jack.”

“What?” Jack asked.

He heard him get to his feet and it hurt when he didn’t touch him.  As if he was glass.  He turned to look at him, feeling resentment.  “I avoided sex for about six months, and that includes jerking off.  For the first three weeks, every time I had an erection, like morning wood?  I threw up, then took a cold shower.”

Jack’s mouth dropped open, then he immediately shut it.  “I didn’t realize.  I’m so sorry, Daniel.”  He stepped forward and wrapped him in a hug.

Daniel stood there and didn’t reciprocate for nearly a full minute, but eventually he touched his arms.  He couldn’t bring himself to hug back.  The resentment was climbing and he had to get rid of it somehow.  “When I started having sex again, it was occasional, and then came the Security office and the VIP rooms.  I jumped all in, Jack.  It was like finally having steak after having only salad.”

Jack sort of laughed and withdrew from the hug but he didn’t stop touching him.  He reached up and cupped his face in both hands and kissed him.  “I’m glad you told me.  I needed to know, Daniel.  I didn’t mean to be a asshole about it, not knowing or realizing.”

“Guess we both have shared our guilt and shame,” Daniel said, forcing the resentment down after Jack’s words.  “And now here we are.”

Jack took his hand and sat down on the couch again.  This time, they were together.  “Dave said you loved being the pitcher as well as the catcher.”

Daniel jogged his brows and took a deep breath as he closed his eyes momentarily to reorient the mood as well as the conversation.  It had understandably gotten pretty heavy.  And Jack was trying to take it somewhere else.  Bless him.  Daniel had no interest in dwelling.  “Yeah, I do,” he said, sighing, and looking into his eyes.  “And you’re telling me that’ll never happen between us.”

To his complete surprise, Jack shook his head.  “No.  That shit in Iraq hadn’t been my first time.  That happened when I was sixteen and it was with someone who had no idea what they were doing.  Or maybe they did, and they deliberately did it wrong.  I don’t know.  But … I’d already done it once before, and the right way—although it was between me and another virgin and we had no idea what we were doing.”

Daniel winced.  “Yeah, that’ll suck at that age.  All hormones and needs and no idea what to do.  Like knowing you have to use lube.  That’s why I think all sixteen or seventeen-year-olds should do it with someone who’s older.  Say eighteen or nineteen.  Twenty at the outside, though all three are considered illegal.  Anyone older than that is approaching perv territory.”

Jack snorted out a derisive laugh.  “He was eighteen.  When it happened again, I was twenty-nine.”  He paused.  “I’m willing to try it one more time.”

Daniel blinked, surprised.  “Why?”

“Because it’s you.  Dave told me how good you made it.  And—”

“He did?” Daniel asked, dumbfounded.  “Exactly how did I do that?  I mean, it was just normal sex.”

Jack smirked at him.  “I think it’s because it was you.”  Daniel rolled his eyes.  “Anyway.  Given my feelings about you, I think it’s worth trying one more time.”

Daniel hadn’t been on the catching side too many times since that first time with Dave.  Perhaps that was one reason he wanted it so much.  But more than that, it was Jack.  Daniel cleared his throat, yanking himself out of an impending foray into fantasy.  It could come true so why imagine it?

Because you love to plan things out, that’s why.

“Daniel?” Jack asked.

Daniel winced.  “Sorry.  I kinda got lost in images.”

“Of being with Dave?” Jack asked with a smirk.

“While I was fucking him, we pretended I was you.”  Jack’s eyes widened.  Daniel smiled.  “Left that part out, huh?  Naughty Dave.”  Jack nodded, and his cheeks blushed a tiny bit but it was his throat that went further.  “So … we make a date?  Whenever you’re read—”

“Now,” Jack said, swallowing.

“Now?” Daniel asked, taken off-guard again.

Jack nodded.  “I’d like to try now as opposed to later.  I tend to talk myself out of things as time goes by.  I don’t know how I’ll react if it goes wrong.”

“What?” Daniel asked, alarmed.

“Sorry!  I’m not saying you’ll do it wrong!  I’m saying I might not respond favorably.”

“Oh.”

“So.”

“So,” Daniel said.  “I’ll let you lead.”

Jack rose slowly and held out his hand.  “Let’s go get naked and lie down.”

They were half-dressed by the time they got to Jack’s bedroom.  Daniel went to the side table and opened the drawer.  Inside was a bottle of lube, condoms, and happily, a slender vibrator with a one-and-a-half-inch bent tip.  He’d never noticed that before.  “When’d you get this?” he asked pulling out the lube, the vibrator, and a condom.

“A while ago,” Jack said, and looked embarrassed.  “I put it away before because I didn’t want you using it on me until I was ready.”

He looked a bit ready now, Daniel thought, and tingles went down his spine.  His lover—the phrase echoed through his mind as if it sounded inaccurate—moved onto the bed, but Daniel held out a hand.  “Jack, don’t lie down yet.”

Jack’s brow arched.  “I thought I was leading.”

“Oh, right.”

Still, Jack sat back on his heels in the middle of the bed.  When Daniel climbed on and turned Jack to face him, his lover pulled him against his body and kissed him, deeply, passionately.  When they broke for air, Daniel swallowed and gave him a hungry smile.

“Thanks,” he said softly.  “I was so focused on what I wanted to do to make this good that I forgot the essential bit.”

“You know you’re like that about damn near everything?” Jack said, and from his smirk, he was partly teasing.  Daniel could tell.  There was a knowing look in the man’s eyes that telegraphed their history together.

“Maybe,” Daniel said, and he dropped the vibrator and condom on the bed.  “How often have you used that?”

“A few times,” Jack admitted.  “It’s never been very long because it’s intense for me.  I’m not sure you should use it now.  Maybe another time.”

“Why?”

Jack frowned and chewed at his lip.  “I’m not sure.  Maybe because I think it’s not a ‘first time’ toy.”

“I won’t turn it on then,” Daniel said as he reached down to stroke his cock.  “That okay?”

“Yes,” Jack said as he did the same and they spent a few minutes winding each other up.  Daniel loved getting him hard, feeling the length and width of him growing with arousal.  It was flattering and he could do it over and over again and never get bored with it.  Of course, what went with that was …

Jack fell onto his back and pulled Daniel with him, but he resisted.  Instead, Daniel wrapped his fingers around the base of his cock while he took the head and a few inches into his mouth.  He watched Jack’s face for a reaction as he sucked and licked, swallowed, and stroked.

“Have I ever told you how much I love your cock?” he asked, half-smiling.

Jack started to softly laugh at the comment.  “I don’t recall,” he said, then bit at his lower lip when Daniel sucked him in again and this time opened his throat and encouraged Jack to fuck his mouth.  He took one of his hands and placed it on his head and when Jack took his head in both hands, Daniel made the sound of agreement, inviting him to do whatever he wanted.  Jack did, and he held him still as he thrust gently a few times, then thrust a bit more roughly.  Daniel relished it and moaned as he relaxed his throat.  After a few more minutes, he licked up and down the shaft before playing with his balls and perineum.

Next, to Jack’s surprise, came the rimming.  Normally, it wasn’t something he did, but Jack’s anus needed as much stimulation as possible.  Daniel spread his legs and pushed them up while he played, watching Jack’s reaction when he finally inserted a finger instead of his tongue.

Happy that he was accepting, Daniel grabbed the lube and coated his fingers, then rubbed over his hole with one set of fingers while the other, equally slicked, wrapped around his shaft and began to stroke with a tight grip.  Probing into his rectum with his middle finger, he immediately sought out his gland to further stimulate—and distract.  Jack moaned and thrust against his hand.

“Yes.”

Daniel went on, teasing, ramping up his arousal, his pleasure, and lubed the vibrator.  As promised, he didn’t turn it on.  He merely wanted the slender fake cock to give him the sensation of being filled.  He inserted only four inches and began to thrust very, very slowly.  Curving upward, the bend in the toy found his gland again and Jack gasped and thrust against it.

“Stop.  You’ll make me come, and we both know I don’t bounce back as often as you do,” he demanded as he managed to push back up on his elbows.

Daniel nodded and slowly eased it out of his body.  “Think you’re ready then?” he asked.

“Now or never,” Jack said, and he pulled Daniel toward him.

He knelt more snugly between his legs and spread his thighs as far he could comfortably get them.  He took that moment to slide on the condom, then spread a lot of lube.

“Again, why the condom?” Jack asked.

“It’s smoother, slicker,” he answered and rubbed his cock over Jack’s hole and the space between it and his balls.  The lube allowed for easy sliding, making his point.  “Less resistance compared to skin.  It’ll go a bit easier on you.  When you’re comfortable, you can tell me to take it off.”

“By that time, I won’t want you to pull out,” Jack said, his breathing pace increasing.

Daniel smiled a little and tried to hide the intensity of his need while letting Jack see his desire.  It was a fine line.  “I’ll play a bit,” he said, rubbing his cockhead against the hole.  He pushed in a little, then pulled out and rubbed.  He repeated this for a while and Jack was squirming through it all, moaning from pleasure.  Daniel meant to keep going but his desire made him push just a bit further and Jack gasped.  He pulled back but Jack grabbed him and kept him from pulling out.

“No.  Keep going.”

“Bear down,” Daniel said.  “As if to push me out.  I’m not that far in.”

“I know what to do,” Jack growled.  “Just move, dammit.”

“I don’t want to hurt—”

“You’re not,” Jack panted.

He reached down and grabbed Daniel’s forearms and pulled him over him.  It was Jack then, not Daniel, who directed how it would go.  It was a massive turn on, never mind the fact that he was becoming overwhelmed by the tightness of his ass, the heat of his body.  Deeper he went in until he was fully inside, aided by Jack’s heels.  He moved in an undulating manner, pushing but not thrusting.  He knew he’d glanced over his gland with every wave forward and was content to keep going like this.  But Jack again, had other plans.

“Now,” he said, and pulled Daniel into a long kiss.

He decided to tease him a bit.  He held onto his thighs and eased out just a bit before sliding in again.  They were very short strokes and he broke the kiss to watch Jack’s face.  Jack was flushed, aroused, and his fingers dug into Daniel’s ass, coaxing him to go even further.

“Okay,” Daniel breathed, and he pulled back almost the whole way, then pushed back in and began to thrust and create a rhythm.  Jack groaned and pulled him into a more heated kiss.

“Faster,” he said against his mouth.

Daniel complied, and it was all he could do to restrain himself from letting go.  He could feel the heat in his cheeks rise at the same time his ass cheeks tingled.  He would come soon if he kept going, even though he wanted to make it last a lot longer.  But he ordered himself not to come until Jack did.

“God, you’re beautiful,” Jack said, staring in his eyes and over his face.  “Speed up and fuck me.”

“I’m afraid to,” Daniel admitted.

“Why?”

“Because my version of fast involves going at you hard.  I don’t want to hurt you or make you—”

“Shut up, Daniel, and fuck me!” Jack demanded.

Daniel gave in.  Not just to Jack’s demands, but his own.  He kept some force in reserve because he felt he could possibly scare Jack by how rapid and hard he could actually go.  What he did right now, with an undulating swing to his hips while going at him fast and furious brought a response from Jack that was music to his ears:

“That’s it, baby!” he cried.  “God you feel good!  Fuck me!  Come for me!”

“No, no, it’ll be over too soon!” He could feel his orgasm approaching and if he went any faster, his body would fly over that invisible edge.  Instead, he moved harder and aimed upward.  Jack threw back his head and cried out as Daniel kept up the movements.  He grabbed the sheets in white-knuckled hands and dropped open his mouth as he spread his knees further.

“Yes, Daniel, yes!”

Daniel tightened his hold on his thighs and slammed into him.  Jack came hard, spilling over his abdomen, and yelled encouragement for Daniel to follow.  The words were all he needed, and the climax hit him hard.

“That’s it, baby!” Jack said, caressing his chest.  “That’s it.”  He pulled Daniel on top of him and kissed him again.  It was slow, savoring, and Jack rolled them over, groaning as Daniel slid free of him.  His eyes were closed but he opened them slowly, his heart beating rapidly as his body tried to calm.  He met Jack’s deep brown gaze and let out a long sigh through his nose.  Jack smiled a little and kissed him again, lightly.

“That was something,” he said, and moved off to lay on his side.

“Yes,” Daniel agreed.  He turned to face him and reached up to caress his cheek.  “Maybe it’s afterglow talking but I really, really love you.”

Jack’s cheek creased in a crooked smile.  “It’s not afterglow.”

He watched him, looking at the features of his face and Daniel wondered what it was he saw.  Jack’s face made a micro wince.  “What?” Daniel asked.

“Time for a shower.”

Daniel snorted.  “What, no nap?”

Jack shook his head.  “Ask you something?”

“Anything, dummy.”

Jack grinned a little, then it faded as he became thoughtful.  “This all began as a way to feed your voyeurism kink.  But here we are.”

“Here we are.”

“So what happened to the kink?”

“It’s still there,” Daniel said.  “I fed it.  I moved past it.  And … well, to be honest?  The base is boring and it’s all about performing now, not really satisfying anything but a lustful itch.”

Jack nodded.  “I still find it intensely satisfying to break in those who want to be broken in, but I can go without it.  I still like to perform though.  Or rather, like to be seen while I’m fucking.”

“Your exhibitionist side seems to get fed more than mine does,” Daniel said with a sigh.  He thought of the kinks and their uses and how it filled that void inside him.  But now there was Jack and he was far more important.  Was he asking him if he wanted to give it up or give him up?  “Maybe … it’s …”

“Maybe it’s …?” Jack asked.

“I need that itch filled, Jack.  One way or another.  But it’s not worth giving you up for it.”

Jack’s brows rose.  “You misread.  I never meant you had to choose.  I think we just need to find a safer place to go.”

Daniel blinked.  “I think maybe there is, but I might be misremembering.  I’ll get back to you about it.”

“Done,” Jack said, sitting up.  “Now, c’mon.  Let’s share a shower.”

Daniel snorted.  “There’s another thing we won’t be able to do anymore.  On base, I mean.”

Jack eyed him.  “Daniel.”

“Jack.”

“We’ve never shared a shower on base.”

Daniel realized he was right.  “Well.  Then I guess there’s one more thing we have yet to do there before we take it elsewhere.”

 

 

Concluded in Voyeur 10