by Joy
J/D | NC-17 | 76 kb | AU/Episode-based
Summary: What does Daniel remember and why is it so important?
Author Note: Cliched, overused plot device, but what the hell.
Takes place directly after Season 7's Homecoming.
After asking directions, Daniel arrived in the mess hall, narrowly escaping a rundown by a team of Marines on their way out.
"Sorry, Doctor Jackson."
"Excuse me, Doctor Jackson."
"Sorry, Doc."
Daniel put on a smile and nodded, not remembering their names though their faces were looking a little more familiar, especially the one with the Colonel's wings. Reynolds, that was his name.
As he walked toward the end of the buffet line, Daniel thought about the look on Jonas' face before he'd gone through the event horizon. He felt a little guilty having lied to Jonas about his memory returning, but standing there in his office and then in the gateroom, he'd wanted the man to feel better.
It had been so important to Jonas that Daniel should have his life back, memory included, so Daniel had humored him. Jonas hadn't bought it, that much had been clear, but Daniel gave the man credit for going along. Daniel had wished Jonas hadn't had to leave. They'd made a good team and Jonas was a nice guy.
Not that the others weren't nice to him but there was an element of standoffishness that had never come from Jonas. Daniel intuited that it had nothing to do with his coming back from the dead but more to do with the past. Something had happened when he'd died and he wished he would remember whatever it was. Perhaps it was simply the death itself, but whatever it was, the strange tension in the air whenever he was around SG-1 was starting to grate on his nerves.
Grabbing a tray and moving down the line, Daniel found that as he did so, he did it without thinking, without making an active decision. So, glass, napkins, coffee mug, fill glass with orange juice. Ignore dessert case--way too many choices. Dinner--don't decide, just let the cook server do it. Thrust out the tray, get pot roast, gravy, potatoes, corn. Fill mug with coffee, fix coffee with milk and sugar, then turn and scan the room to find... SG-1.
Habit, ingrained, and the sense memory was automatically there without any effort to retrieve it. He'd done this a thousand times before and while the actual memory wasn't there, the feeling of it was. Daniel decided at that moment that his memory retrieval, like with his dream of Shau're and the examination of the Ancient language, was going to be brought back without conscious thought. He'd have to go by his feelings and just let things come to him when they would.
It seemed logical that that was very likely the way Oma had buried his memories. Was it to keep him from revealing them under torture? Perhaps, but since he didn't remember her, there was no way to know. Not for certain. He was running his life right now on a set of theories, which was weird but also seemed to be the right thing to do. Still, it was something his mind was having trouble grasping. Daniel knew without a doubt in his mind, that he had no 'proof' of anything. Going only by supposition and theory was bad practice but it seemed to be his way.
Except his way also included having to access his locked up memory by way of 'accident,' and that was goddamned frustrating.
"Daniel!" Sam called, and Daniel found himself both relieved she was calling him over and surprised he was being invited. She'd been somewhat aloof toward him since he'd come home. Not that she hadn't been nice but she'd seemed to take his amnesia harder than Jack had. Although that wasn't exactly true. She was taking it differently, not harder. Sam had been acting hurt. Jack had been acting offended. Teal'c... well, Teal'c didn't push or act in any way that would make Daniel feel bad, which Daniel very much appreciated.
"Hey," he said, walking up to the table. Sam and Teal'c sat on one side of the four-man table, which left Daniel to sit at Jack's right. He glanced at Jack carefully, as if waiting to be told he couldn't sit down.
Jack gave him a double look. "What?"
"It's okay if I sit down, right?"
All three members of SG-1 frowned in confusion.
"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" Jack asked, scowling now--and mostly because Daniel figured the man hated it when people (or just him) did things that confused him. The man liked to know everything and be aware of everything around him. When someone (like him) challenged his reality, Jack got a little annoyed. Daniel still didn't understand why he'd never backed Jack's play in the past--if what Jack had told him were true. Daniel also had a funny feeling that Jack liked to lie to people on purpose, just to see how smart they were in figuring out the truth. It did tend to explain the dumbass and sexist routine.
Daniel sat down, leaving his dinner on his tray. "I don't know. Never mind."
Sam waved her spoon at him. "Daniel, I wouldn't have called you over if I didn't want you to join us."
"I know," Daniel said automatically--something else that felt familiar to say. "It's just that it was you doing the asking, not Jack or Teal'c, so..."
Daniel glanced sideways, just catching Jack shaking his head, a slight grin on his lips. "What?" he asked.
Jack's grin grew and he looked at Sam, pointing his knife--another gesture that seemed familiar to Daniel, though he didn't know why exactly. Just as he started to say something that Daniel knew was going to be sarcastic, some men passed behind them and slapped Daniel gently on the back or shoulders.
Fortunately, Daniel had been startled quite a bit recently so that sort of contact wasn't dramatic. Still...
"Nice to have you back, Doctor Jackson," one man said. The other echoed his statement, then several tables over, some men and women turned around and nodded at him, some voicing the same sentiment. Again, Daniel nodded, this time adding, "Thank you," to the list so he didn't sound rude.
He'd been back for three months--and back at the SGC for three weeks-- and this sort of greeting was still going on. As if people were verifying that he wasn't going anywhere or he wasn't a figment of people's imaginations. Daniel really couldn't blame them. The weirdest shit happened around the front line base. Some of those mission reports had been wild, especially his own. And some involving him had been ones Daniel hoped he never remembered the more exact details of. Ever.
When the greetings were done, Daniel took a deep breath and forked some potatoes into his mouth so he wouldn't have to acknowledge anyone. Well, except those at his table. Who were now staring at him. Shit.
"What?" he asked with his mouth full, which sounded like, "Wot?"
"That bother you?" Jack asked, making a conducting gesture with his fork.
Daniel swallowed and followed it with coffee. "It'd probably help if I remembered their names."
Sam gave him a hopeful look. "It'll come back. Just give it time."
Daniel jogged his brows and shrugged. "That I have."
"At least you remembered my name finally," Jack said with a touch of sarcasm that made Daniel twist his mouth in a form of a smile.
"I called you Jim on purpose."
Sam choked off a laugh and Teal'c stared between them with a smile on his own lips. Jack simply stared at him with that same look Daniel received at the briefing table.
"Why?" he drawled.
"Because," Daniel drawled back, making Jack roll his eyes. Clearing his throat, Daniel added, "Because you were teasing me and I teased back. Seemed like the thing to do."
Jack's brows went up a notch. "Why's that?"
With another shrug, Daniel said, "Seemed a comfortable thing to do."
Jack couldn't seem to come up with an answer for that and during the ensuing silence, Daniel decided to switch subjects... sort of. "So how's your blood sugar, Teal'c?"
Sam choked off another laugh, mostly out of surprise, as Teal'c said, "My blood sugar is fine, Daniel Jackson."
"Daniel, I was kidding," Jack rasped.
"I know," Daniel answered, not looking at him as he grinned.
Teal'c then added, "I do not have a blood sugar problem, O'Neill."
Jack gave him a look of exasperation, making Sam grin at Daniel. "Teal'c, I was kidding."
To Daniel, Teal'c looked smug. He wondered then if Teal'c always did that to Jack--if the entire conversation of tease and tease back was the way they related. He didn't know but it felt--again--familiar. He had yet to see them talking seriously during a mission, so he had nothing to compare it with. It was obvious that there was a friendship there.
"Daniel, you wanna join me in the lab when we're done?" Sam asked with a mouthful of dessert.
"Sure, um..." Daniel began, not really having anything specific to do with his time. He didn't have any studying to do and his job hadn't really been given back to him, despite the patch on his fatigue shirt. "I won't be in the way or anything?"
"No, not at all," she answered.
When Daniel glanced at Jack, he had to look instead, freezing when he found something like regret and disappointment on the man's face. When he started to ask what that was about, it was too late. The look was gone, and a split second after that, Jack was rising from the table. "Well, you kids have fun. I'm off for some fun with paperwork, then home. If I don't see you before, have a good weekend."
Sam wished him the same, as did Teal'c, but Daniel could only mutter a drawled, "Yeah," because Jack's sudden departure caught him by surprise. After Jack away his dishes and tray and left the mess hall, Daniel looked back at Sam and Teal'c. "What'd I say?"
Sam winced, looking apologetic. "Oops."
"What?"
"I forgot."
Daniel started to get that grated feeling again. "Would someone please clue me in here?"
The two exchanged glances, then Teal'c opened up first, though he wasn't all that helpful. "You and O'Neill used to share Friday evenings at his home."
Daniel's eyebrows went up for yet another surprise. "We did?"
Sam nodded encouragingly. "Yeah, pizza, beer and whatever movie the Colonel wanted to torture you with. Although you switched off, where one Friday the movie would be your choice and the next, it'd be his."
"So... he was gonna ask me and you beat him to it?"
Neither of them answered. They simply looked sheepish, which immediately caused Daniel to experience conflicting emotions. One set for Jack, another for the two people across the table. With Sam and Teal'c, it was frustration. They weren't telling him what he needed to know. Just bits and pieces from a puzzle, and goddamn it, it was now long past getting on his nerves.
With Jack, Daniel felt a deep, warm ache in his chest. What Sam said had sounded familiar but it was like trying to remember a word or image that was just out of reach. More aggravation, and this time, desperately so; this felt more intimate than everything else he'd been trying to remember because something shared only between himself and Jack implied it. And just... what the fuck?
Except sharing something with Jack, just Jack? It didn't exactly sound right, given what Daniel had remembered and seen of the man so far. Jack wasn't all that friendly--well, that wasn't precisely true. Jack was just a little close-vested, that's all and--
"Daniel?" Sam asked, jarring Daniel from his thoughts.
"Hmmm?" And realizing he'd spaced off in his own world, he returned a sheepish look. "Sorry."
"Did you regain a memory?" Teal'c asked.
"No, no. More a feeling than a memory."
"Really?" Sam asked.
"Yeah. Why, is it important?"
"It is for you," she shrugged, then abruptly set down her spoon and pushed to her feet. "Think I'll go work on my project. If you want to join me, feel free. See you later."
"Okay, thanks..." He watched her as she left a little hastily, then gave Teal'c a confused look. "Okay, now what did I say?"
Teal'c took his time answering, as he been doing since Daniel had met him. "I believe she may feel embarrassed."
"Well, yeah, but did I do something wrong?"
Teal'c gave him a warm smile. "No, Daniel Jackson, you did nothing wrong."
"Okay, then do you know what the hell was that all about then?"
"Are you aware that it is Friday?"
Daniel blinked. Words came to him from out of nowhere. Jack's voice. "And, but, so, therefore?" "Well, yeah, I got that. But..." He shook his head. "Okay, apparently I'm not getting what exactly, so...?"
Teal'c suddenly shook his head and stood up, too. "It is probably best for you to remember on your own, Daniel Jackson."
Daniel sighed. Teal'c was doing it again. "Listen, I can appreciate you guys wanting me to remember on my own, but when you react to something I've said, where it's quite obvious that I have no clue whatsoever--"
"I apologize, Daniel Jackson."
"No, no," Daniel said, holding up hand. "Don't apologize. There's nothing to apologize for. Just tell me what I'm missing here?"
"I will tell you that it would mean a lot to both of them to be able to spend time with you, as it would mean much to myself as well. We have all missed you, though I believe O'Neill has missed you more than Major Carter or myself."
Daniel thought it over carefully as he remembered bits of the Abydos mission--bits that had suddenly come to him in the locker room a few days ago. And that had been an awkward scene with Jack, which was one reason why Daniel thought the Friday Night thing so... odd. "So it's because I've known Jack longer, you mean?"
"I believe so."
"But it's more than that, isn't it?" he asked as he rose from the table. He wasn't about to let Teal'c get away without answering him.
As the left the mess hall, Teal'c was quiet, and Daniel considered that perhaps Teal'c was considering what he'd said--and whether or not to answer it.
As they turned a corner, Teal'c finally spoke. "Regarding your question, yes, I believe there is more to your relationship with O'Neill, and perhaps because you have known him longer. While both Major Carter and I have known you nearly as long, we were not with you during the first mission, which I understand lasted close to a month in duration."
"Yeah, and?"
"You became closely bonded during that time. Your friendship is far more personal than is your friendship with us."
Daniel stopped in the hallway, forcing personnel to go around them so he took Teal'c aside, through an open doorway to an empty office. "Wait a minute. What does that mean exactly? It can't be too personal, unless I did something hideous to him. Sometimes he acts like he'd prefer to smack me one."
"O'Neill is not used to sharing... private emotion. He becomes, in human words, flustered. I have observed that when that happens, he feels uncomfortable."
"Yeah, well, I already know that, Teal'c. And I've already figured out he cares, but what you're saying is that we really are good friends, like you and Sam say we are."
"I would say closer than that, beginning with the bond created between you during that first mission. O'Neill is a warrior. When someone saves his life, he does not take that lightly."
"I know that, Teal'c. You don't either. Is there something you're trying to tell me without exactly having to say it?" Teal'c didn't answer and that was an answer in itself. Daniel gave him a resigned look. "I take that to mean I need to find out from Jack."
Teal'c bowed his head in that single nod of his and Daniel sighed. "Right. Well, in the mean time, I guess I'll go see Sam. Then if Jack's in his office, I'll go see him and ask about movie torture night."
"That is a wise decision," Teal'c grinned.
Daniel gave him an annoyed look. "You don't have to look so smug."
"I am not feeling smug. I am pleased."
"Why?" Daniel asked, not sure he wanted to know at that point.
"Because hopefully this will mean that life here will return to normal." At Daniel's smirk, he amended. "As normal as is possible."
"Right."
"In the meantime, I will walk with you to Major Carter's office as my quarters are in that direction."
"Okay," Daniel replied.
On the way, Daniel was greeted with nods and a few more "Welcome back"s. When he'd look at Teal'c afterward, his Jaffa friend would be grinning at his discomfort. Somehow, that was comforting.
At Sam's lab, Teal'c bowed slightly. "I wish you a good evening, Daniel Jackson."
It was at that point that Daniel had had enough. "Teal'c, why don't you just call me Daniel? Or Sam, Sam? I can understand it when you're talking to other personnel but why us? We're your friends. Why use both our names when Jack only gets O'Neill most of the time?"
"While I consider you my friends, your names are worthy of respect at all times. I do, however, treat O'Neill differently because he is like a brother to me, not just a fellow warrior. That breeds a little more familiarity than it does with you. I am sorry if this offends--"
"No, no, it's not that. I rather thought it was the other way around, I'm afraid."
Teal'c stared at him, then bowed his head. "There is no offense, Daniel Jackson. Quite the opposite."
"Oh." Daniel couldn't think of an answer to that. He had a feeling, however, that asking Teal'c to explain that would take a while, so he made a mental note to ask later. "Okay."
Teal'c grinned again and bowed one more time. "Have a good evening, Daniel Jackson."
"You, too, Teal'c. Thanks."
After he left, Daniel pushed the comm buzzer on Sam's door mechanism. "Sam?"
"It's open," came the muted, shouted reply and Daniel entered and closed the door behind him. Sam was preoccupied as she worked... on a motorcycle. A flash of a memory attempted to come to him, but it didn't get through. All he knew was that Sam liked motorcycles and that this one was called an Indian.
"How long you been working on this?" he asked, taking a stool to her left and behind. Sam was kneeling beside the partially-built machine, her hands dotted with smudges of grease and dirt as she turned a ratchet, tightening a screw that went to... god knows what but it was metal and shiny. Daniel didn't have a clue about engines of any kind. He knew basic maintenance and that was it. And vehicles, mostly. Given time, he could probably learn, but at the moment, it wasn't exactly high on his list of things to relearn and remember.
"Well, this is my second one. The first one... kinda got blown up in a lab accident. That was the last damn time I let Doctor Lee in here. This one I've been working off and on for about six months."
"That long?"
"Yeah, when I can get the time, building it up from nothing. It takes a while, which I don't really mind." She set down the tool and turned, sitting fully on her ass instead of her calves, and drew her knees up. "So..."
"So," he echoed. Daniel suddenly had no idea what to say. Well, that wasn't exactly true. What he had noticed since meeting Sam, again, was that she wasn't forthcoming with personal chit-chat unless pushed, whether by her own curiosity or someone else's question. The question he had in mind might not gain him an answer though.
"What's on your mind?" she suddenly asked, watching his face.
"Noticed that already?"
"Yeah, kinda hard not to. I do know you, Daniel, even if you don't remember me."
"Yeah, well, I'm starting to remember, Sam, but it's bits and pieces. What's on my mind right now is about that, actually." And there it was. He could feel their friendship, deep within him, like a knowledge he didn't need to remember to know. Still, there was something else that needed to be said, as if he'd offended her somehow. The anger toward him hadn't been hard to miss, though she had hidden it pretty well. That in itself told him he did know her. The specific events of their lives didn't seem to matter. Till now.
"So what's up?" she asked.
She looked curious but Daniel had a feeling that curiosity would vanish, as would her openness, the moment he started asking what was wrong. He remembered asking her if there'd been anything between them and at the time, she'd answered no, that they were just really, really good friends. Whatever that meant. Perhaps just having seen her vulnerable, as a teammate would. Perhaps something else. He didn't know. But when she'd told him, there'd been something else she'd kept back. Even in his confused state, he'd seen it.
"Back on that planet, I asked you about us."
Sam gave him a hesitant, uncomfortable smile. "There was no 'us', Daniel."
Looking down at his hands, he said, "Yeah, that's what you said, but uh... I get the feeling that maybe," and he looked back up, into her face, "you thought there could have been. Something else."
Sam promptly looked away, blushing. "Oh."
"Yeah," Daniel drawled. "So... talk to me."
Sam was still for a moment, face turned away from him so he couldn't see, then she shook her head. "It's not important."
"It is. Do you want to know why I asked if there was anything between us?"
Sam turned her head a little, enough so he could see her profile, but she still didn't look at him. "Yeah, that did kinda catch me off-guard."
Daniel felt something inside him; a certainty that he was on the right track, and for some reason, it engendered sadness, not excitement. Still, he had to keep going. "I asked because I remember the look you gave me when I first saw you in the market square. There was..." Daniel looked down again, trying to find the right words. "Sorry, Sam, but you looked at me not just like finding a friend you thought was dead. You came up to me, tried to touch me like... you had a right to... if you see what I mean."
Sam swallowed, nodding, but turned her face away. "It wasn't anything, Daniel."
"Please don't do that, Sam. Look at me."
"It's embarrassing, Daniel."
"Yeah, I can see that. Look at me anyway." He paused, then tried to form a smile. "I promise not to judge." Surprising him, she laughed, but it was a painful, wistful sound that made Daniel regret bringing anything up at all. "Sorry. Let's just forget I asked." He started to turn, to get up, but she suddenly turned to face him and he stopped moving.
"Wait. In order to know the answer to your question, you'd have to remember the day you died."
Daniel closed his eyes briefly. "Yeah... I've been kinda avoiding that, actually."
Nodding, she crossed her arms over her knees, hugging them to her in a protective gesture. "That day, in the iso room, I was kinda emotional. I said some things. You know how... well, maybe you don't. Look, after... after you died, it just hit me really, really hard."
"You said that before," Daniel replied quietly.
"It's just that what I said is now making me feel... weird. Because you're here and..."
"Now you feel cornered? Trapped?"
"It's stupid."
"No, it's not."
She cringed, then said, "I thought that maybe I cared more about you than I was willing to admit. But I don't think that was it. I wasn't lying when I said that there wasn't anything between us. I just don't know if there could have been simply because I'd never thought about it or said anything or... well, shit, told you it was stupid."
Daniel reached out and touched her arm, frowning at her as she dismissed her feelings. He wondered if it was something she always did when she felt cornered. "Stop, Sam. It's okay. Everybody second-guesses themselves. I've been doing it a lot lately, not knowing what's the right thing to say or feel, so I think I understand."
She breathed deeply, nodding again. "I guess that's all it is, having taken your leaving pretty hard."
"Is that why you're mad at me?" he asked, suddenly knowing what this was about, and she turned her head sharply, staring at him.
"Mad? No. What makes you think I'm mad?"
"Because I can see it now," he said slowly. She frowned and started ask, but he said, "Even when you're smiling at me and being nice, I sense something else." Narrowing his eyes, he went with the feelings that were speaking to him in place of memories. "Jack said I visited him. He said I visited Teal'c, too. But no one said anything about you, including you. I think you're mad that I didn't come to you while I was ascended. I don't know why I didn't but I'm sorry, Sam."
She shook her head firmly. "Don't be, Daniel. I just felt left out. I was your friend, too. It's just... never mind."
"No, finish, Sam," he said, trying to be as encouraging as he could. There was something she wasn't saying, and at first, he wanted to know whatever it was, but now, he maybe he didn't although perhaps it was better if he did. However, in the next moment, Sam decided otherwise.
"No, there's nothing more, Daniel. I just felt left out and maybe I am harboring some residual resentment. I'm sorry about that."
Her expression told him she was sincere but he could also tell she was covering, just like she did when she disagreed with something Colonel O'Neill said -- a little military fact Daniel had trouble remembering the purpose of. In his mind, if you had an opinion, you gave it, and if some people didn't like it, well that was too damn bad.
But the military was not a democracy, and Sam followed the rules. Especially her own guarded ones, she did not talk about her personal feelings. That was something that Daniel suddenly knew. If he pushed, she'd retreat. If she wanted to talk, he'd have to let her come to him.
"Okay," he said after another moment of silence. "But if you ever wanna talk..."
"Okay, sure. I'm sorry, Daniel."
"For what?" he asked, frowning.
"I'm not really good at this," she said, giving him a sheepish smile. He got off the stool and knelt next to her, putting an arm around her shoulders and giving her half a hug. She stiffened under his touch for just a second, then practically melted into him. He held her like that, in silence, for more than a couple of minutes, waiting. It felt awkward, but still, it was nice to be able to show some affection, to touch. He hadn't realized he'd needed it until that moment.
Then Sam was clearing her throat, a dismissive sound, and he slowly let her go and moved far enough away to look at her. "Okay?" he asked.
"Yeah," she sighed. "You?"
"I think so," he said, giving her a smile. She smiled back, then suddenly pushed at him, touching his knee. "You should go and I should get back to my pet here."
"You need live animals for pets, Sam. Want the fish I inherited from Jonas?"
"You keep them," she said, rolling her eyes. "I'd only kill them. I overfed a goldfish when I was nine. The results were tragic."
Daniel snickered. "I can imagine. Then at least help me name them. We can think up names we know Jack would hate?"
She brightened. "That'd be fun. Except Kinsey. The fish would end up dead."
"Kinsey?"
She shook her head. "Never mind."
There was silence then; a sudden, uncomfortable silence, and Daniel took his cue. "Well, I'd better get going." He stood up, unnecessarily smoothing his fatigue shirt, and turned for the door.
"Daniel?"
"Yeah?" he asked, looking back.
She opened her mouth to say something, but whatever it was, she was fighting with it. Then the look on her face altered slightly and she smiled. "I'm glad you're home."
"Thanks, Sam," he answered, wanting to say he was too, but it was premature. Was he glad? Should he be? Shaking off the thoughts, he said, "If you wanna go somewhere, do something, um, just call me on the phone the General gave me. You have the number, right?"
She smiled. "Yeah, I got it saved on my phone."
"Okay," he said, rubbing the thighs of his trousers. Getting to the door, she stopped him once more.
"Daniel?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you gonna go see the Colonel?"
He narrowed his eyes again, this time completely confused. "Yeah, I was planning to, why?" When she hesitated, a memory flashed. Nothing specific, nothing he could grab hold of and unfold like a letter. Just a picture of her and Jack huddled together in some sort of underground facility--and his mission reading allowed him to remember where: that Ice Age planet. It made him feel extremely uncomfortable. "You think it's a bad idea now?" he asked carefully.
"Um, well, no, it's just that with all the changes we've been through this past year, and the fact that your death was really hard on him whether he admits it or not... it's er, just... well, don't be surprised if he won't open up."
Daniel gave her a false smile, hating that he had to. "Oh. Okay. Good night, Sam."
"'Night, Daniel," she said, grinning more brightly as he left.
Walking down the corridor toward the elevator, Daniel felt a deep foreboding come over him. Why would she warn him off Jack, if that's what she was doing? It made no sense, especially after her words during dinner. Had she lied? No, she had no way of knowing that Jack had already opened up to him. During that week of the mission prep for the assault on Anubis' ship, Jack had talked to him, so he was far from being closed-off.
Jack had visited him in his quarters, fiddling with stuff as he walked around and talked, rarely looking at Daniel long enough to pose anything meaningful at him, but still, he'd talked. That might have been what Sam had meant, but Daniel knew that it wasn't. Jack had said he'd missed him; had admitted that Jonas was a good man, and had said it without sarcasm, which--for some reason--was what Daniel had expected.
Jack had been friendly and open and hadn't really held back much, except memories, preferring that Daniel retrieve them on his own... which, in retrospect, explained the Friday Night omission. But he hadn't been closed off. Perhaps Sam was basing her warning on time spent with Jack while he'd been... ascended. So that year would've been... a year where Sam had had Jack to herself.
Daniel paused as the elevator doors opened on level 27, and as they started to close, he was shaken out of his thoughts. Stepping out and heading toward Jack's office, Daniel wondered if Jack and Sam had had... a thing. Or still had a thing. Regulations or not, he could understand it, but it's just that it made no sense. Jack had never given off any vibe toward Sam. Ever. Then it suddenly dawned on him. There was a vibe, however, from Sam toward Jack.
Was that why she'd clammed up? Daniel started to wonder then, if there was nothing going on between them, if Jack knew her feelings. Logic suggested he had to. Jack wasn't an oblivious man. In a group as tightly knit as SG-1, he had to know. And Teal'c had to know. But. But. What the hell were they doing pushing Daniel about Friday Nights then? Regaining normalcy, as Teal'c suggested?
No, it felt more than that. Daniel felt that grating on his nerves returning. Why the hell were they doing this to him? Couldn't they just tell him what the hell was going on and then let him decide? Why did everything have to be such a goddamned puzzle for him to solve? Had he liked it that way before? If so, he must've been mad. It didn't really matter though. It was apparently a puzzle he had to solve on his own, only Daniel had no idea how to solve this one.
Obstinance reared up at that point, and Daniel decided, fuck it. This was one puzzle he wasn't going to solve. He was simply going to make personal observations, gain a bit of knowledge to tuck away and keep for private use. That was all. Right? Right. Except it didn't feel right, and he hated that he didn't know why.
Finally at Jack's door, Daniel raised his hand... and paused, holding back the knock. Perhaps it would be better to wait for Jack to say something about the Friday Night get-togethers. After all, Jack had been steering clear of any mention of the past, waiting for Daniel to bring it up first. Even if Sam and Teal'c had mentioned their movie night first, it was probably something best left for Jack to bring up again.
Feeling a wash of regret flow over him, Daniel dropped his fist and turned away, but he'd taken no more than a few steps when Jack's door opened.
"Daniel?"
He turned to see Jack locking up his office. "Hey," he said, trying to look casual.
"Weren't you coming to see me?" Jack asked.
"Well, yeah, but I... well, chickened out, actually. Didn't want to bother you."
"Since when?" Jack asked with a grin that could only be described as disarming. He slapped Daniel on the shoulder and ushered him down the corridor beside him. "Teal'c came by anyway. Told me he'd spilled the beans about the Friday Nights and that I should stick around in case you came to ask."
"Ah. Well..." Daniel started as they entered the elevator.
"Well...?"
Thinking that Jack was going to ask him over, Daniel felt an unexplainable thrill rush through him, but when the man pushed level 18's button, the thrill vanished and was replaced with a sudden ache Daniel couldn't explain. Except that he realized just how much he'd wanted to spend some time with Jack; go off base, watch a movie, eat pizza. Be... normal.
But there was more to it than that, something else he couldn't identify. Yet. He knew he was attracted to the man so that might be part of the reason for his disappointment, but Daniel easily dismissed it. Attraction didn't mean squat. There were a lot of people he was attracted to already, and Jack... was Jack. Charming, magnetic, sex on a stick...
Daniel shook off those thoughts, dismissing the very idea that it was a sexual reason, and started to bolster up the courage to ask if Jack wanted company--without it sounding like a come-on. Only the elevator was moving too goddamned fast. The readout now read 18--then the elevator stopped and the doors opened. End of the line. Shit.
"Well, um, have a good night, Jack," he said, walking out, but turned in surprise when Jack stepped out right behind him. "Where are you going?"
"I thought you were interested in coming over?"
"I am. And I thought you were leaving?"
"I am."
"Okay, I'm confused. You pushed the button for me so obviously I'm not going anywhere. So you're... what? Walking me to my room?"
Jack smirked at him. "Your deduction skills are playing havoc with your assumption skills."
"What?" Daniel frowned.
"Walk, Daniel," Jack said, still grinning as he turned him around and pushed him toward the dead-end corridor where Daniel's room was.
Daniel was offically clueless and hated it. "Great. Sarcasm for bed. Gonna tuck me in, too, I suppose?"
He was taken by surprise when Jack shoved him in the back. "Don't be a wiseass, Daniel. I'm here to escort you since you don't have a pass yet. We'll get some of your clothes and things because the Friday Night get-togethers are usually sleepovers. I drink, you drink, and no one's taking a cab. So toothbrush, jammies, razor, yadda."
"Oh," Daniel frowned--at Jack, at himself. The excitement he knew he should have been feeling was covered with embarrassment. He'd assumed wrong. Which then led him to ask himself what else had he assumed wrong?
Inside his quarters, he grabbed the leather carry bag he'd gotten from Shamda's people and began filling it with a few clothes. Old ones, like jeans and sweats, things that Jack had kept for some unknown reason; and new ones, like briefs and t-shirts. Daniel hadn't yet figured out why Jack hadn't saved any of his shirts. "By the way, I'll have to sleep in my underwear. I don't have jammies."
"Well, that's one thing that hasn't changed then. And I was kidding, anyway."
"Oh. Jack?" Daniel asked as he kept packing, now grabbing his personal hygiene items.
"What?"
When Daniel glanced at him, he found Jack watching his every move and it made him pause. "What?"
"That's my question," Jack reminded him.
"Yeah, but I thought there was... never mind."
"The question?" Jack prodded, grinning.
Daniel suddenly wanted to slap him one and had the strangest feeling it wasn't going to be the only time. "Why didn't you say something at dinner?"
"I wasn't going to, Daniel, I'm sorry. Was waiting for you to remember."
Daniel rolled his eyes. "I'm getting sick of that, actually. I don't want you to wait for me to remember. Just tell me."
"Well, see, here's the thing," Jack went on, losing his smile as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Maybe there are things you're not ready to remember, or don't want to. Fraiser said it might be better for you to access your memory on your own."
"Yeah, well, she's wrong," Daniel said, dropping the bag on the bed and turning to face Jack squarely. He took a step closer to him and crossed his arms. "I have been in a state of confusion and terror since coming back. Things come back to me slowly but sure, but it's not all there yet. I need reminding, Jack, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't hold back from me. About anything. Okay?"
Jack stared back at him, and for a moment, he looked like he was going to reveal something important, but instead said, "Teal'c said that, too. And okay, I agree with you. But let's take it one step at a time, okay?"
Daniel set his mouth in a grim line, but nodded.
"Good," Jack went on. "As for this evening, that too was Teal'c's idea, as I said. And he was right. New scenery might help jog the old noggin."
Daniel shrugged. "Hope you're right, but I don't really care, Jack. I just want out of here for a while." He turned and grabbed his bag and threw it over his shoulder. "I'm ready."
"You have to change into civilian clothes, Daniel."
"So do you. And why is that? Don't military personnel wear their uniforms in the civilian world?"
"Yeah, but we'd have to take our patches off, and the catch-22 is that we'd then get in trouble for being out of uniform, should some green General show up with a hair up his ass. So, we avoid that by changing clothes. So... change, Daniel. Then we'll get to the locker room where I'll change, then we're outta here."
"Except you have clothes to change into, I don't. You didn't leave me any shirts."
"You have t-shirts," Jack pointed.
"Yeah, but they're t-shirts."
"So?" Jack blinked, then shook his head and took Daniel's bag off his shoulder and pulled out a black t-shirt and a pair of old jeans and tossed them at him. "You can wear just a t-shirt, Daniel. It's not like you're going naked."
"And shoes?"
"Wear your boots. We'll go shopping tomorrow and get you a jacket, tennies, other stuff. You can pay be back later if you want."
"Okay, but doesn't the Air Force provide that stuff?" Daniel asked sarcastically, giving in as he removed his boots to take off his trousers.
"Yeah, but you like your civilian choices."
"Ah," Daniel carped back, amused that Jack turned away when he pushed off his trousers. "Modesty, Jack? Shouldn't that be the other way around?"
"Ah, well, nothing I haven't seen before," Jack replied, half over his shoulder, "but I was just giving you the privacy, not me."
"Jack, I was found naked in a field on the edge of a forest and walked around like that in front of a lot of people before someone decided to give me something to wear. I think my modesty pretty much died right then and there."
"Good point."
Jack was grinning when he turned around, although Daniel had the decency to keep on his briefs. He knew damn well it was Jack's modesty, not his own, that was the issue here, but he let Jack pretend for about two more seconds before he started snickering.
"Okay, okay, it was for me. I'm a prude."
"Modest, Jack. Not a prude. If you were a prude, you wouldn't have called the Kelownans a bunch of narrow-minded, tight-fisted motherfuckers."
It was Jack's turn to snicker. "Point. Again."
Still, he turned away after Daniel's fatigue and tee shirts came off and Daniel could've sworn there was a blush there as he dressed. He couldn't laugh or make fun, however, because his nipples were hardening, even under the black t-shirt he pulled on. Since the room was just slightly cool, he could blame that, but Daniel knew the truth. It was Jack's presence, and he had no idea if it was loneliness or... the inkling of a memory.
If, and he stressed, if, it were a memory trying to surface, what did that mean exactly? That he'd had feelings for Jack? Or that the feelings had been returned?
It really didn't look good, either way. If they had been, or were, one-sided, he was doomed to unrequited feelings. If they'd been returned, there was no way the feelings could have been acted on, not with what he knew about Jack--or assumed he knew. And there he went with the assumptions again. He couldn't be wrong about this one, though. He knew Jack disregarded some regulations, but he stuck to most of them and this one would have been a big one to violate.
So... that meant forgetting about what he'd just learned and moving on. He could do that. He had to do--
"You're thinking too hard," Jack said.
"What?" Daniel asked, coming out of his own thoughts, and realized they were driving down the road, out of the mountain. He hadn't even paid attention to getting into the truck. "Oh, sorry, Jack. Yeah, I was thinking too hard."
"Okay, stop that."
Daniel gave him a helpless shrug. "I can't help it."
"Yeah, okay, I can understand that, I guess, but I mean this is a night off from that. Stop analyzing, stop measuring, stop trying to figure out things. Just go with it and have fun."
Daniel smirked and looked out the window. "I'll see what I can do."
.
"So... you sure you ordered stuff I liked before?" Daniel asked as Jack handed him a beer. He stared at it, smelled it, and wrinkled his nose.
"Yes, Daniel," Jack answered sarcastically. Noticing Daniel's expression with the beer, he asked, "What?"
"I don't think I like beer."
Jack shook his head and turned away, opening a cupboard. "Damn. Was hoping I could retrain you."
Daniel took the glass Jack offered him, then the bottle of wine. "Retrain me, huh?"
"Yeah, I know," Jack replied with a shit-eating grin, "but a man can hope."
Daniel snickered as he followed him into the living room. "I thought we've already established I can't be trained."
Jack eyed him as he sat down. "Okay, wait a sec. That sounded wrong coming from you."
"It did?"
"Yeah, over a year ago, you would have said something like, I'm not a dog, Jack. I can't be retrained."
"Funny," Daniel said, resisting the urge to laugh because it was funny. Jack was also right. It was the other thing he'd debated saying but the 'established' thing came out instead. Which also meant Jack knew him pretty damn well. And with the memory thing, he had the advantage. Which was annoying as hell, since Daniel had already learned that when Jack felt he had the advantage, he was one smug bastard. "So... wine? With pizza?"
"You had it before," Jack answered as he got up and went to the entertainment center under the TV.
"Hmmm. Hardly a testimonial," Daniel replied as he popped the cork to the already open bottle and sniffed. Smelled good. When he caught Jack smirking over his shoulder at him, he grumbled, "It smells good."
"Not that."
"What?" Daniel asked, seeing now that Jack's expression looked quite devious. "What're you up to?"
Jack pulled out a DVD case and waggled it. "It just occurred to me that I get to make you suffer twice. That is, if you don't remember the movie."
Daniel twisted his mouth instead of replying, since there was nothing he could think of that wouldn't be stating the obvious. Jack returned to the couch, remote in hand, and aimed it at the player. The TV switched screens and the movie started with previews of other films belonging to the film studio.
"What're we watching?" Daniel asked, giving Jack a suspicious look when the man toed off his shoes, propped his socked feet on the coffee table, and leaned back into the couch. He clasped his hands behind his head and grinned in that same devious way he had before, which only increased Daniel's suspicion. "Jack?"
"You'll see."
"Hmmmm. I get the feeling that whenever you say that, I'm in trouble."
"Your memory isn't that far gone then," Jack said dryly.
"I'm starting to wish it was."
Snickering, Jack stretched out his right arm and grabbed his beer off the end table, his free arm now draped across the back of the couch. If Daniel were sitting any closer, it'd almost feel like a... date. He swallowed at the thought, and purposely told himself not to move. He wasn't sitting at the opposite end of the couch, as Jack was sitting at the far right. Instead, he sat just to the left of middle, with enough space between them for another person to sit down--and feel squashed--but not close enough to be invasive. Or too invasive.
The more Daniel thought about it, the more he realized that he'd sat where he was without thinking, and wondered if it was where he always sat. Asking Jack about it, however, would sound silly, so he kept quiet.
Crossing an ankle over a knee, Daniel scooted down a little, getting comfortable in the cushions, and sipped at his wine. He really was enjoying himself, despite the strange feeling of familiarity mixed with the unknown. Being here, with Jack, felt the same, but with more of an opposites attract flavor than anything else. Jack was opposite to him, but they both shared the same love of dry humor, and while Jack pretended to be annoyed with him sometimes, Daniel would find him just barely smiling about something he'd said. It felt, again, so damned normal.
When the movie finally started five minutes later, showing some sort of neo-classic arty version of hieroglyphs, Daniel suddenly remembered the film. The Mummy. The one with Brendan Fraser.
"You can't be serious," he said.
"You remember it then?" Jack asked, giving him that expectant look.
"Yeah, I remember. Not all of the movie, but I know what it is, yeah."
"Just remember that it's make-believe, Daniel," Jack said in a soothing--and teasing--tone. "Just go with it."
Dropping his head back on the back of the couch, Daniel viewed the screen through half-lidded eyes. "God."
"It's fantasy, Daniel. It doesn't have to be accurate to be fun."
Daniel had to concede that, and ten minutes later, he could also see why Jack liked the film. Action, romance, snark, guns. What wasn't to like? If one ignored the blatant playing fast and loose with Egyptian facts, that is. Daniel knew he was viewing the film like a nitpicking academic, so he pointedly stopped doing it just enough to enjoy the film. And Jack's needling and teasing.
Twenty minutes after that, the pizza showed up. Nothing on it that he didn't like, so after getting some ice water to drink instead of wine, he sat there and very much enjoyed himself; eating and watching, teasing and nitpicking, till... Jack started to nitpick. And made Daniel choke on his water.
"Wait," Jack said, sitting up a little, though his feet were still propped. He pointed the remote, rewound a section, then hit 'pause'. "That's not right."
"What?" Daniel asked, puzzled. The scene had a few people using guns. Nothing out of the ordinary.
"Those rifles didn't exist during the time period of this movie."
Daniel choked, then burst out laughing, sitting forward to set his glass down next to the half-empty box of pizza.
"What? I'm serious! That is just so wrong."
Daniel only laughed more and Jack was grinning back, despite the annoyed sound of his words.
"Well, it is."
"As you so eloquently put it, Jack, it's fantasy," Daniel said, still laughing as he sat back. "Go with it."
Jack crossed his arms over his chest and grumbled, but there was a smile around his eyes when Daniel looked at him, so Daniel knew that Jack wasn't serious at all. He was simply trying to make him laugh. The knowledge made Daniel feel warm. Everywhere.
At the end of the movie, Jack got up and placed another movie in the DVD player.
"What now?" Daniel asked as Jack went to get another beer.
"The sequel."
Daniel snorted as he crossed his ankles and closed his eyes. "Figures," he said drolly, but he didn't mind. At all.
When Jack came back and sat down, propping his feet up once more, he looked at Daniel, then suddenly slapped his thigh. For a brief second, Daniel felt something, then it was gone.
"Take off your boots and stay awhile."
"I didn't want to presume," Daniel said, knowing it was true. He may have been here many times before, but he didn't remember that yet.
"Daniel--"
"Seriously, Jack. It just felt like I was being presumptuous since I don't remember what I used to do."
Jack thought that over and nodded. "Okay, fair enough. Now get the boots off and put your feet up."
Daniel grinned and leaned forward, unlacing the boots and setting them off to the side. "Just don't get any ideas about my socks."
Jack didn't say a word but that grin said something and for the next five minutes, Daniel tried to figure out what it meant without the end result sounding dirty as hell. In the end, he decided he didn't care. He simply liked that look on Jack's face.
They finished the pizza during the first half of the movie, with Daniel groaning periodically over inaccuracies of history and Jack doing the same over weapons and stunts. With the occasional sniffy comment on how Daniel remembered Egyptian history but not him.
And all the while, Jack was laughing.
Jack rarely laughed. Apparently, the same had been true of himself, but Daniel hadn't known that until he'd laughed outright at a few jokes over the last few weeks. And whenever Jack had been around, instead of laughing too, he'd be grinning... and watching Daniel laugh instead.
Which was exactly what Daniel found himself doing with Jack right then. It was odd to see Jack laugh. Nice, but odd. The only times Daniel had seen Jack laugh outright were at something unbelievable; something funny 'weird,' not funny 'amusing.'
"What?" Jack asked, when he caught Daniel staring.
"What what?"
"Daniel. You're staring. What?"
"Oh, right," Daniel replied, embarrassed and rubbing absently at the top of his thigh, as if there was a crease in the jeans--there wasn't. "It wasn't anything bad," he explained. "You were laughing. It was just a nice thing to see."
Jack gave him a slow, close-lipped smile. "Backatcha. It's a nice thing to see." He took a sip from his third beer and returned his attention to the film, his left arm once more outstretched over the top of the couch.
As Daniel watched the film, he became aware of the spicy scent coming from under Jack's arm. He inhaled slowly, taking it in. Feelings came up within him, familiar again; ones that had nothing to do with 'new' desire, but 'old.' All that really told him was that he'd been attracted to Jack before, that this was nothing new. He couldn't help but wonder if Jack knew, just as he wondered if Jack knew about Sam. The man certainly wasn't clueless, but how careful had Daniel been about his feelings?
Before he knew it, his thoughts were brought back to the here and now as the film ended. He got up and went to the bathroom while Jack tossed the empty box, not even thinking about the fact that he knew exactly where he was going until he closed the bathroom door.
Daniel stood there for a moment, then absently unzipped and relieved himself as he thought more and more about the things he did automatically, by body memory. His conscious mind may be temporarily blocked, but nothing else apparently was.
When he returned, Jack handed him a fresh glass of wine before Daniel sat back down.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
As Jack went back to his DVD collection, Daniel said, "You know, I didn't even ask where your bathroom was. I just went, without thinking."
Jack looked over his shoulder and that charming grin was there, making Daniel feel warm again. He liked the way Jack's cheek wrinkled when he smiled. "I noticed that."
"I've been thinking that if I don't force it or actively think about it, my memories will come back to me a lot quicker."
"Is it working?"
"Well," Daniel said with a small grimace. "Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I know what some things are, who some people are, but memories of 'events' are coming back a lot slower."
Jack only nodded, absently glancing at the stacks of DVDs for yet another torture film.
"So what'll it be now, Jack? Academic torture or are you plotting something new?"
Jack only grinned at him as he pressed the remote and sat down, propping his feet up once again. "Maybe your tastes have changed."
"Cute, Jack," Daniel responded, taking a drink from his glass. As he put his feet up next to Jack's, Daniel laughed softly and tapped Jack's left foot with his right. "Your feet are bigger than mine."
Jack grinned and said, "Well, you know what they say about big feet."
Daniel smiled, not caring why he knew such little, trivial things like that. He glanced at Jack, then looked longer when he saw the expression on the man's face--it said said Jack regretted the words and wanted them back. Why? Daniel looked away so he wouldn't embarrass him, but he couldn't understand why that joke would bother Jack. It was just a sex joke, no big... deal.
What had happened a few times to Daniel since returning from the Ancients' planet, happened again. Without warning, Daniel found himself lost in the replay of a memory. Usually, they had been ordinary memories. This one was far from ordinary. Daniel's gaze was brought to the empty area of carpet before Jack's entertainment center. Except in his mind, that area wasn't empty.
There was laughing in his head. His own and Jack's. And there was the wrestling over a beer bottle. And Daniel knew why. Jack had been threatening to dump it on his head if Daniel wouldn't stop reciting some anthropological examination of a childhood fable. Daniel, of course, had refused, and then came the fight over the beer bottle. Jack had ended up on his back, even though he had control of the bottle, and Daniel had jerked at his hands, hard.
Beer had splashed onto Jack's face and there was the picture of himself looking down, staring. He'd dropped his weight on top of Jack, pushing the bottle aside--a bottle they both still had a grasp of--and said, "You look good wet." It had been such a bold come-on, but Jack had gawked at him for all of ten seconds before he'd yanked Daniel down into a deep, bone-melting kiss.
Hands had been everywhere after that, and Daniel remembered the feel of Jack touching his cock, stroking him, fingers playing around his ass, the taste of Jack as his tongue probed his ass. The memory was visceral and sweet and heady with lust. It had also been their first time. It hadn't been a one-off, and it had been serious. Daniel didn't need to remember specific events to be certain. He simply knew it was so.
"Oh my god," he whispered quickly, eyes wide for a few seconds as he turned in his seat to gaze into Jack's puzzled and worried face.
"What?" Jack asked.
"I just remembered something," he said as he shifted a bit. The memory flash had done wonders for his body's reaction; he was hard as hell.
"What?"
"Something really important," he whispered. "Why the hell didn't you tell me?"
"What?" Jack repeated, eyes widening.
"All this time, I thought it was just me."
Jack's eyes widened even more. "Just you what?"
Daniel's lips spread into a smile as he slapped Jack's arm. "You asshole. We had a thing and you couldn't tell me?"
Jack stared back at him, unblinking and frozen, and Daniel thought it might be relief but could just as well be resignation--Jack may have moved on and there might not be anything there anymore. Daniel felt a lump of something hard fill his chest and it made his stomach flutter.
"Um, what... a thing?"
"Yeah," Daniel replied, looking just off Jack's shoulder for a moment, replaying the memory in flashes. He looked back into Jack's eyes and was now acutely aware how hard his heart was pounding.
"You're remembering... what kind of thing?"
"A thing thing, Jack."
"A thing thing?"
"Yeah, a thing thing."
Jack's reaction was noticeable. He relaxed. It was with obvious relief. Without hesitation, Daniel seized the moment before it could change to something awkward. He knew Jack, even without the memories. After having observed him for a while, he knew that any hesitation on his part could make Jack retreat and that was unacceptable. Jack needed reassurance and for the first time in the weeks he'd been back, Daniel put himself in Jack's place. How would he have acted?
Answer: Just as Jack had. Jack had to be sure because Daniel wasn't the same, even with the burgeoning memories returning. It was up to him to make it right. Daniel turned, folding a leg up on the couch as he inched closer, then reached out with both hands and cupped Jack's head, his thumbs framing his face. "This kind of thing," he said, pulling Jack in.
"Oh. That kind of--" Jack started, the sarcasm soft but Daniel didn't want the sarcasm. He wanted Jack. He cut off any further words with a deep kiss. The first few seconds were firm, no-nonsense, reclaiming. Then hotter, hungrier. Passionate. There was no need to test the waters to see if it was real. He knew it was, and so did Jack when he stuck his tongue in Daniel's mouth and kissed him back.
Then Jack's hands were on his ribs, his waist, his back, and Daniel's body and mind filled with need and want, love and lust. He suddenly started to laugh through the kiss, which made Jack kiss him harder. But he couldn't stop the breathy noises through his nose, feeling relief at finally identifying what he'd felt between them; astonished that Jack had held back as long as he had without once giving anything away... except for that look in the mess hall.
When Jack's hands stopped touching and began caressing, and his body pushed against Daniel's, easing him onto his back, Daniel forgot about laughing. His hands molded and caressed the muscles of Jack's back, moving between them to touch his chest, to feel the outline of muscle, the hard nubs of his nipples under the cotton shirt.
Daniel lost all amount of higher brain function when two things happened after that. The first thing was that Jack was moaning. Daniel hadn't realized it until Jack broke the kiss and began nipping and kissing his jaw and throat. The sound was deep and reverberating and Daniel felt it move straight to his cock when Jack made the sound against his ear.
The second thing was Jack moving his body slightly to the left, slipping his hand between them, and the moment he palmed the outline of Daniel's cock, his mouth latched onto his pulse point and he bit down. There was no way Daniel could stop the gasp of excitement and the loud, needy moan that accompanied it. Then Jack rubbed. Daniel thrust against his hand and tightened his arms around him, fingers of one hand reaching up to clutch at Jack's short hair.
"Yes," he whispered.
"I missed you," Jack said, and that was the last coherent thing Daniel heard him say for the next five minutes.
The only thing he could concentrate on was getting their shirts off and their jeans down. Jack wrapped his fingers around his cock, and he took Jack's in his own hand. Lying on their sides, they worked each other with frenzied need, kissing and biting, letting loose expressive grunts.
At the end, Daniel was amazed at how they mirrored each other, choking off groans with breathy gasps as they came in each other's hands. He came first, hips thrusting frantically as Jack pumped him hard and fast. Daniel tried to pay attention to what he was doing, but his orgasm took over and his hand went lax for a moment. Coming back to himself, he was glad to note that his hand still around Jack's shaft, so he went quickly back to work, kissing him hard as his hand pulled his lover's orgasm from his body.
His lover. Sounded so damned funny to call Jack that, but it was appropriate. Daniel couldn't remember much yet, but feelings and the shadows of memory were there. They'd been lovers. And still were.
Daniel smiled as Jack nuzzled his neck, breathing slowing down. "I think we can do better," he whispered, "but that was damned nice."
Jack pulled back and stared at him. "You remember everything?"
Daniel shook his head. "No. But as I said once before, I remember enough."
Jack grinned at him, then pushed off with a groan and got to his feet, pulling Daniel up beside him. "Shower?"
"Sounds good," Daniel said, staring at the come on his fingers, then looking up into Jack's eyes, he purposely stuck a finger in his mouth and sucked. Jack grabbed it and pulled it away, and Daniel was going to protest, except Jack replaced the finger with his tongue.
After the kiss that had Daniel feeling warm and sweaty all over again, they shucked off their clothes and went down the hallway.
"Don't you want to shut off the movie?" Daniel asked, not knowing what it was.
"No, not thinking about that just now," Jack replied as he turned on the shower. "It'll shut off by itself, anyway. All I'm interested in," he went on, giving Daniel a deliberately intense look, "is you."
Daniel had thought he'd seen that look before, in the briefing room. But no, he only thought he had. Jack had a couple of 'intense' expressions, where his eyes darkened and became dangerous, and Daniel had thought that they were reserved for his enemy. Till that moment.
Daniel felt nothing but that gaze as he stepped into the shower and felt Jack's soapy hands wash over his skin. He felt a warmth deep inside that had nothing whatsoever to do with the hot water and everything to do with desire. He felt his cock stir, and his balls tingle, and all he wanted right then was to taste. So he did, kissing Jack's mouth, then his jaw, his throat, his chest--once he cleaned the soap off.
"Damn," Jack breathed as Daniel latched onto a nipple while his hands took handfuls of his ass. "You did this before and now you're doing it again."
"What's that?" Daniel asked around the other nub.
"Making me hard. I'm supposed to be too old to get this quick of an erection."
"Really?" Daniel asked, looking up as he slowly but surely sank to his knees. Jack groaned and threaded his fingers through Daniel's hair, his eyes locked on Daniel's face.
"You're going to kill me."
Daniel smiled as he tongued the line of hair under Jack's navel. "I have no plans to kill you. Not this way, but I'm sure I can manage several... smaller deaths."
Jack snorted softly, blinking slowly. "Nice one."
Daniel gave Jack as seductive a look as he could manage. "I'm not kidding," he said, then took the head of Jack's cock in his mouth.
The taste and heavy weight of it suddenly furnished him with several memory images, disjointed and out of focus. But they were there. Elation and lust forced Daniel to take more of Jack in his mouth, sucking as he moved back and forth, encouraged as Jack's cock hardened considerably.
"Up," Jack said, pulling him off, kissing him once Daniel was on his feet. "We finish this in bed."
"Yes," Daniel whispered.
Drying quickly after they rinsed, they made their way to the bedroom and Jack reached the bed first. Lying on his back, he pulled Daniel over him and said, "I want to do everything, but right now, Daniel, I need you inside me first."
It was all Daniel could do at that point not to spread Jack's legs open and do exactly as he wanted. But he needed this to go slow, and Jack very likely need it to. Now was not exactly the time to stop and ask, "When's the last time you were fucked, Jack?"
Just touch and kiss, lick around the soft hairs of his chest; test the hardness of his bite as he took a nipple between his teeth and worried it slightly. Jack's reaction was to growl and encourage, to reach somewhere while Daniel was busy and push a bottle of lube in his hands.
Hands that were now shaky, but with want, not uncertainty. He slid his hands over Jack's skin in a ceaseless caress, until desire forced Daniel to coat his fingers and enter the tight hole. Jack stiffened, knees drawn up, and Daniel soothed him with kisses over his belly, around the straining shaft of his cock, until he felt Jack relax around him, accepting his touch.
When he found Jack's prostate and rubbed, it literally surprised the hell out of Daniel when his lover yelled and bucked, ass muscles tightening around his fingers, skin becoming slick with sweat once more.
"Shit," Jack said, jaws clenching, hands grasping for Daniel's body, urging him up. "Now."
"I'm nowhere near done," Daniel protested, even as he laid over him, knees spread, cock slick with lube.
"Yes you are," Jack told him, and took hold of the backs of his knees and opened.
Daniel kissed him hard as his hand blindly lined up his cock. He pushed, then pushed again, and again, and each time Jack bore down until Daniel was almost completely inside him. Gasping as he broke the kiss, Daniel nuzzled his face, cheek to cheek, and whispered, "Jesus."
"Goddamn, I really missed you," Jack whispered back, then clamped his hands on Daniel's hips and started up the motions.
"Jack," Daniel hissed.
"Now," Jack replied softly, biting at his throat. "Fuck me."
"Oh shit," Daniel whispered, beginning to thrust. It was too good and yet there was nothing in the world that would make him stop. Jack was hot and tight and felt so... his. All Daniel could do was breathe and thrust, breathe and thrust. He wasn't even aware that his eyes were half-lidded as he tossed his head from side to side, the pleasure acute and too fucking good to last as he moved in the rhythm Jack set from below. "You feel so goddamn good."
"You look..." Jack started to say, but stopped.
Daniel looked down, keeping up their rhythmic dance, gripping the sheets in tight fists when he felt the sweat build up too much between them and his thighs slipped free from the back of Jack's. "What?" he panted, remembering to ask.
"Nothing. You'll have me committed if I say it."
"I promise I won't. Say it."
Jack hesitated, staring up at him, and as Daniel stared down, looking at the man's flushed and sweaty face, all he could think of was, "Beautiful."
"What?" Jack asked, surprised.
"The way you look. It's the only word that fits."
Jack laughed a little, but not at him. "That's what I was thinking about you."
"What?" Daniel asked as it was his turn for surprise.
"Hot, shiny with sweat, lips puffy, cheeks and neck flushed, eyes dark, unable to stay open for long," and Jack suddenly grabbed him and pulled him down for a hot, needy kiss. When he let him go, his voice was ragged and harsh. "Fuck me hard," he said and kissed Daniel again, the force mirroring what he wanted.
Curving one hand around Jack's neck and anchoring the other to the bed sheets, Daniel spread his knees and checked his strength as he slammed his hips against his lover's ass and plunged his cock deep inside over and over. It was amazing to feel his balls slapping against him, to see Jack's cock ruddy and thick, sliding through Jack's hand as he stroked himself.
Unfortunately, the result had his balls drawing up, that wonderful heat rising quickly. "Oh fuck, Jack. Jack..."
"Yes," Jack hissed, "Faster, Daniel. Faster."
Grabbing Daniel by his hair with one hand while the other pumped his cock with furious need, Jack locked his gaze on Daniel's and Daniel couldn't look away. He stared into those enigmatic, seductive eyes and did exactly what he wanted. It felt so good and he didn't want it to end, but his body had other plans, especially when Jack ordered, loudly: "Come for me. Now, Daniel. Come--for--ohfuck--"
He was beautiful. Jack tossed his head back, a choked sound escaping him as he came. The look of it was all Daniel needed and he came hard, body wildly thrashing over Jack's as he emptied his balls into him.
He kept thrusting until there was nothing left from either of them, then slowed, his body undulating, keeping a rhythm that had more to do with comfort and soothing than anything else.
When he stopped and gently rolled off, Daniel found himself surprised once more when Jack's arm went around his waist, keeping him close, face nuzzled against the crook of his neck. Then Jack kissed him, softly, the cooling sweat sticking their lips together. Licking them, Daniel looked around, then grinned.
"Forgot some water," he said, but Jack grinned.
"In the drawer."
Groaning and leaning over him, Daniel opened the bedside table and found a bottle of water. "Boy scout," he half-accused, but was grateful. Watching Jack drink, Daniel gave into the urge to lick his Adam's apple as it moved up and down, making Jack growl at him.
Daniel laughed softly and pulled away, dropping his head on the pillow. "Were we always like this?" he asked, and regretted it when Jack gave him a strange look. "Sorry."
"No, don't be. And the answer is not always. I prefer this. Before..."
If Jack's expression was anything to go by, he had the awful feeling that he wasn't as loving after sex as he thought he should've been. "I wasn't that snuggly after sex?"
Jack made a face; neither good nor bad. Just... resigned. Daniel decided he didn't like it. He leaned his body in and snuggled.
"Things change."
Jack's arms went around him, holding Daniel firmly against his body. "This time, for the better."
.
The next morning, after breakfast, Daniel had been debating whether or not to broach the subject of Sam when Jack's curiosity and hard-headedness made up his mind for him. He came up behind him as he stood at the sink and wrapped his arms around him.
"Spit it out, Daniel."
Jack's voice was next to his ear and it sent a wave of desire down his spine. Daniel sighed with something like happiness and turned his head a little to kiss his cheek. "I don't know if I should bring this up."
"You changing your mind then?" Jack asked, body going stiff against him in all the wrong ways and Daniel quickly turned in his arms, finding a careful mask of non-emotion.
Daniel gave Jack the most loving look he could show. "No, Jack," he said carefully. "I have no regrets and never will. Clear?"
Jack let out a breath. "Clear."
Daniel saw the look in his eyes, one that reflected his own. With a deep sigh, he said, "I don't want to ruin the morning but... this is about Sam."
The right side of Jack's face twitched in a fleeting grimace, the one he affected when the subject was something he'd just as soon avoid.
"Go."
"Are you aware of her feelings?"
With a sigh, Jack nodded. "Yeah, why?"
"Are they returned? I wouldn't be surprised, Jack. Or blame you. I was dead, for all intents and purposes."
Jack sighed. "Not like that. I care about her. A lot, actually. But I never let my feelings go further, not while she was under my command."
"I'm under your command."
"Daniel, I told her once that I'd always care, but that I didn't want to go further."
Daniel frowned this time, puzzled. "Did she and Teal'c know about us then?"
"Yeah, they had to, sooner or later. That'll come back to you."
Daniel absently nodded, thinking over the conversation with her.
"Daniel?"
"What?"
"That's my question."
"Oh, right, sorry. She said something odd, Jack."
Jack's brows went up in surprise and he coughed through his swallow of coffee. "What?" he rasped.
"That if I wanted to talk to you, I shouldn't expect you to open up."
"Where'd that come from?"
"I don't know. I think that maybe she believes she knows you better than I do, which wouldn't be that far off because of the amnesia. But she might feel a little more possessive about you now."
"What?" Jack asked, his brows knotting. "Where do you get that idea?"
"Because it sounded possessive. I don't know, maybe I'm way off, but that's what it sounded like. I really have no idea what she meant by the comment unless she thought my memories wouldn't return."
"Either that," Jack said slowly, looking unfocused, "or she was going by the way I'd shut myself off."
Daniel's brows went up but Jack didn't explain further. There wasn't a need anyway. Daniel understood; he'd done the same thing after Shau're. "Right," he said quietly. "Well, she just acted odd. Will she be a problem?"
"I don't know. We'll see. Are you prepared to end this if we have to?"
Daniel stared at him. "I'd rather not. I won't quit, my job is too important and so is yours. Let's just play our roles, keep a certain distance at work. Think we could do that?"
Jack suddenly grinned at him as he squeezed Daniel's ass. "It'll be hard away from the base, Daniel. Our Friday Nights, for example."
"We can still have them. We just have to plan for contingencies."
Jack's grin altered to a smile. "Isn't that my job?"
"Okay, if you say so, but I think that should be 'our' job."
"Done, and we'll talk about that later."
"Okay."
"So."
"So?" Jack gave him a very specific look and Daniel knew damn well it was a look he'd never tire of seeing. "What?" he asked needlessly.
"Up for some kitchen sex?"
"Shouldn't we pace it?" Daniel asked, opening his jeans anyway.
"Making up for lost time?" Jack offered. "No time like the present? Seize the day?"
Daniel started laughing as he grabbed hold of the counter when Jack dropped carefully to his knees, taking Daniel's briefs and jeans with him. "I thought you hated cliches, Jack."
"Only when they don't apply to something dirty. The filthy ones are fun."
"Oh god, you're right," Daniel breathed as wet heat engulfed him. "How're your knees?"
Jack pulled back and eyed him carefully. "You'll give out before my knees do, Daniel. Now hand me the oil to your right."
Daniel followed the request, then earned himself a brand new memory as he found out with annoying and amazing clarity just how right Jack was.
~
end