By Fabrisse
Series Title: Relationships
Section Title: Brothers, part 1
Pairing: Nathan/Peter
Rating: General
Word Count: ~3000
Category: Drama
Spoilers: Pre Season 1, minor for Season 2 through Four Months Ago
Summary: Peter and Nathan are brothers
Warnings: None
Betas: snopes_faith and riverfox
Notes: This came out of discussions at TwoP during the episodes Nothing to Hide and Six Months Ago about either how clueless Heidi was to the vibes between her husband and his brother or how complicit she was in the secret. Since the deleted scenes in Nothing to Hide give us Nathan at Annapolis and Angela calling Heidi a "townie" those two things have entered my personal canon. The overall story is in three parts, "Townie," "Brothers," and "Relationships." Each segment will have it's own rating, but the overall series is ADULT-EXPLICIT.
It was around midnight when Peter knocked on his older brother's door. He waited for the sleepy, "Come in," before entering the room quietly.
"Isn't twelve a little old for nightmares?"
"Maybe."
Nathan lifted the edge of the covers and made room for Peter.
"I didn't have a nightmare." Peter made himself comfortable on the pillow.
"Didn't think so." Nathan gave him a one armed hug. "I'm coming back, you know."
"It could be years." Peter turned to look at him.
"It will be. At least two. The good news is, I was lucky enough to get two weeks leave before I left."
"I'll miss you, Nathan."
"Write me. I promise I'll answer." Nathan kissed the top of Peter's head.
"Okay."
They both relaxed into sleep.
***
People thought it was odd that Peter could remember the first time he met his brother. Of course, he didn't remember the first time his brother met him, because he'd only been two days old at the time. Nathan, at twelve, was already building the basics of his career. So there were boarding schools, summer camp or language school, and visits to friends' houses for the holidays. It wasn't until the summer before Nathan started at the Naval Academy that Peter got to know his older brother.
Not that it had started well. He remembered stomping out of the room when Nathan had tried to call him some typical "little brother" nickname. Later, they had started to bond at dinner when Nathan let Peter sneak all the bitter lettuces from the salad onto his plate.
Peter was pretty certain there had been some story reading the next day. Nathan thought being able to read would help him in first grade and had taught Peter basic phonics. It hadn't lasted long. Nathan was preparing to work at a local Boys and Girls Club, so there wasn't much time for Peter.
It was the third day, night really, when Peter finally knew what it meant to have a big brother. He'd awakened around midnight, screaming in the dark.
Nathan was there in a heartbeat, his arms around Peter, shushing and rocking him. When Peter calmed, Nathan got him a glass of water and promised to stay until Peter fell asleep.
The following morning over breakfast, Nathan suggested to his folks that they fire Peter's nanny.
"Maria's a fine girl, Nathan. Why would we fire her?"
"Ma, Peter was screaming. She didn't even bother to check on him."
Mrs. Petrelli looked thoughtfully at Peter before turning back to Nathan. "I meant to speak with you privately this morning, but since you've brought it up… you are not to go in to Peter's room again. We're trying to train him out of this ridiculous behavior, and it won't happen if you reward him."
"Reward him? Ma, he was terrified."
"And he'll have to face those fears. It's better that he learn now that, ultimately, we're all alone."
The penny finally dropped. "You've told Maria not to comfort him. How long has he been having these nightmares?"
"Two years, give or take. He's only having them a few times a week now."
"Only a few times a week?" Nathan was on the verge of yelling.
"If the noise bothers you, we can move your room to a different part of the house."
Peter said, "No."
Nathan smiled at him and said, "No, Ma, I'm fine. Would you mind if I took Peter to the zoo since I have the day off? I haven't been in years and I think he'll enjoy it."
"That would be fine, Nathan. It's a very brotherly thing to do."
By gentle questions, and repeated viewings of the polar bears, Nathan was able to prise out the details of Peter's dream. It all seemed to be complicated by a mild fear of the dark. Peter thought if he could just turn on a light when he woke up, the terrors might not seem so real. (After finding out that the previous night's dream had included watching the city explode, Nathan also resolved to keep Peter from watching the evening news – possibly until Peter was thirty.)
Light seemed like a sensible solution. Since the light near Peter's bed was controlled from a wall switch, Nathan assumed it wouldn't be a viable option. The zoo's gift shop had little keychain flashlights. Nathan bought a half dozen and gave one to Peter.
"Keep it near the bed or under your pillow. If you wake up, you can turn it on and shine it around the room."
"What if I can't get back to sleep?"
"Then you can use it to read a book."
"I can't read."
"We started yesterday. If you practice, you'll read soon." Nathan thought for a minute. "The flashlight is our secret, okay?"
"Okay." Peter's smile lit his face.
In that moment, Nathan thought he'd do anything to keep it there.
***
The flashlight solution was good, but not perfect. Sometimes the fear was so vivid that Peter was awake and screaming before he had a chance to stop and think. Nathan came running on those rare occasions, but overall the power of a small flashlight had improved things considerably.
About three weeks after Nathan bought the flashlight, his mother knocked on his bedroom door.
"The van Rijnbroecks offered to have you for the rest of the summer on their boat. I know how much you love sailing."
"I'm working, Ma, but thank them for me."
"Nathan, if you go to Peter's room again when he screams, I'll make certain you stay with the van Rijnbroecks until the day you start at the Academy. Do I make myself clear?"
Nathan met her eyes. "Crystal. Does that mean I can't read him a story before bed?"
"As long as it's not every night. And, please, don't try my patience by making me define 'not every night.' If you think about it, I'm sure you can find a happy medium."
"Thanks, Ma. I made him a promise about tonight." He started to leave the room to keep his promise.
His mother stopped him. "Nathan, I know you think it's harsh, but you won't be here come August. Peter can't rely on you."
Nathan stopped and looked his mother straight in the eye. "Yeah, Ma. He can."
***
He'd just finished reading a new Dr. Seuss to Peter, who was beginning to pick out words he knew as Nathan ran his finger under them.
"That was very good. By the time I go to basic, you should be reading by yourself."
"Do you have to go?"
"Not for another few weeks. But yes, I have to go." Nathan found a ticklish spot as he mocked Peter's emphasis. "And I want to go, even if I don't want to leave you."
"What else?"
Nathan turned to look at his brother. "You can tell that there's more?"
"With you. Sometimes with Ma. There's always more with Dad, but he never tells me."
Nathan needed to remember how perceptive his brother was. "All right. Ma doesn't want me to come in here at all if you have a nightmare."
Peter looked a little panicked. He turned wide eyes to Nathan. "But you will anyway, right?"
"If I do, Ma says she'll ship me off somewhere for the rest of the summer."
"She'll do it." Peter made it sound as inevitable as death.
"Yeah." Nathan pulled his brother closer. "So, here's the deal. If it's bad, screaming bad, you have to be brave. Use the flashlight and come to my room." He lowered his voice. "And don't tell Ma I suggested it."
Peter rolled his eyes. "I know better."
"Can you do it, Pete?"
His lower lip quivered a little as he thought about his dreams, but then his back stiffened and he looked right at Nathan. "If it's that bad, I'll do it."
Nathan wrapped him in a hug.
A week later, he held a sobbing Peter tightly to his chest and fell asleep beside him.
***
It was hard to say goodbye to a five year old who made it extremely clear that he wanted Nathan right there. They'd had several talks about the Academy. Nathan had shown Peter pictures, explaining what he'd be doing. Peter watched him train with weights in the mornings, and, after the first week, Nathan found one and two pound dumbbells to let Peter join him for the exercises.
None of that was enough for a little boy losing his brother. The night before he was due to leave for Plebe Summer, Nathan took him out for burgers and egg creams at a local joint. Peter would babble on about looking forward to first grade and how good he was at reading now. Then he'd get quiet and look at Nathan with wide eyes.
Each pause was a little longer as Nathan wracked his brain for a new subject to discuss, but overall, it was a good evening.
When they were back at the house, Nathan got out a present for Peter. He'd found a sixteen month calendar with pictures of animals and had photocopied an extra month for August. They spent the next hour or so marking all the important days coming up through December. It began with Nathan's leaving the next day and continued through his reporting to the academy. The day he'd first be allowed to phone home was marked, as was homecoming weekend.
Nathan had also done some negotiating. His parents had wanted him to continue his vacations as networking opportunities. In return for honoring their request at Thanksgiving, they'd agreed to bring Peter to Annapolis at Homecoming. Nathan would invite a well-connected classmate for a week after Christmas, and, in return, he'd be coming home in time for Peter's birthday.
All the important 'Nathan' days were marked in navy blue crayon, at Peter's insistence. All the important 'Peter' days, like starting first grade, were marked in red. And Peter noted that some days were important to both of them, like Christmas. Peter had explained to Nathan that if they were using paint instead of crayon he could prove that their two colors made purple. So purple was the color of the really special days.
Nathan got him to bed and went down to have some time with their folks. When he came upstairs, Peter was sleeping across his doorway.
He picked up his sleep-heavy brother, who protested at being carried back to his own bed.
"You leave really early tomorrow, and you'll forget to wake me. I don't want you to forget."
Nathan looked at the sleepy boy. "Why didn't you just go into my room?"
"Because I didn't have a nightmare."
Nathan turned around and carried Peter back to his bed. Peter was already asleep when Nathan climbed in to bed, but he immediately turned and grabbed Nathan's arm like a teddy bear.
Peter didn't miss saying goodbye to his brother.
***
When Nathan reported at Annapolis, after Plebe Summer, there was already a stack of mail for him. Most of the guys had a letter or two from their parents or the girl back home or both. Nathan's was bundled in a rubber band. There was a weekly letter from his mother -- his dad added a paragraph or so at the end. There were a couple of individual letters from girls he'd dated last year and over the summer. But more than half of them were in block capitals, and their envelopes were messy with too many stamps on them. Peter had learned to write and, apparently, had a burning urge to communicate.
Nathan's first foray to the campus shop was to buy stationery, envelopes, and stamps. Books and notebooks for class work could wait. He'd promised Peter that he'd answer every letter, and Nathan kept his promises.
***
Nathan made it home just after Peter blew out his birthday candles. Six-year old Peter practically launched himself across the cake to get to his brother. "I can't believe it came true so quick." Nathan had to laugh as he gave Peter a huge hug.
***
The following October, Nathan wrote home.
Dear Peter,
I know Ma and Dad are unhappy with me right now. There's probably A LOT of bad feeling in the house. None of it has to do with you.
Dad particularly is going to be angry because what I've done will affect my future career at the Academy and may haunt me through all my time in the Navy.
Don't defend me to Ma or Dad. I did make a very big mistake, and they have the right to be mad.
When I come home at Christmas, I'll answer any questions you might have. I WILL be home for Christmas, and I hope to be home in time for your birthday. It depends on how they schedule my punishment detail.
Be thinking of something special you want to do while I'm home -- besides hitting FAO Schwartz again.
Love,
Nathan
***
"So what did you do?"
"Hmmm?" Nathan had barely had time to put his bag down in his room when Peter came in.
"You're being punished for a whole year, Dad said. It has to be real bad."
Nathan reminded himself that he'd promised to answer any questions. "You know the Academy is preparing me to go into the Navy and give orders, right?"
"Right."
"To be able to give orders, they train you to take orders."
"So you have to do what they say now, and later you get to tell people what to do."
"That's the simple form." Nathan smiled. "There will always be people higher up the chain of command, so I'll never get to tell everybody what to do. Right now, though, just about everybody can tell me what to do."
"Got it." Peter flung himself on Nathan's bed, and Nathan sat beside him.
"I was given an order -- everyone in my class was -- to stay on post all weekend."
"And you didn't do it."
"Nope."
"And you got caught."
"Nope."
"But if you didn't get caught, why are you being punished?"
"I saw something bad happening to someone. In order to report what I saw, I had to turn myself in." Nathan prayed Peter wouldn't ask what he'd seen or to define 'bad.' Explaining an attempted rape to a seven year old would be a far worse punishment than taking a late watch.
"So you did a good thing, but they're still punishing you?"
"I disobeyed a direct order. My commanders trusted me to do what I was told, and I didn't. I knew I'd be punished when I reported it. They could have kicked me out of school, but they thought I'd done enough of a good thing that they didn't." Nathan knew it was simplified, but he hoped Peter wouldn't ask for more details.
"Mom and Dad were really mad."
"I know."
Peter's eyes were huge. "I'm glad you didn't get kicked out, but I wish you were home."
"I'm home now. Have you decided what we're going to do on our big day together?"
"My class went on a field trip to the natural history museum, but they wouldn't let us see the dinosaur bones." Peter heaved a deep sigh.
"Dinosaur bones it is." Nathan was nearly knocked over by the hug.
***
Nathan was more somber than most of his classmates when he threw his cap in the air. He'd done well at the academy. He'd become a father, not that his classmates knew it. His little girl and her mother had died in a fire. Sometimes, he was able to forget the loss.
After the ritual display, he found his parents. Peter was with them, looking very composed for a ten-year old. Some of his classmates had siblings Peter's age, though most of them had siblings in between, but none of them had brothers who could dress formally and not look like they were playing. He didn't know where Peter got that particular talent.
They elected to cross the Bay Bridge and have lunch at their hotel on the Eastern Shore rather than fight for space at a restaurant in town. It was probably for the best. Nathan knew there would be a fight; better that it not be too public.
His father had stormed out of the dining room before dessert and the rest of them had finished their meal in silence. Nathan had changed out of his uniform into jeans and was walking down the shore, looking at the bay, when Peter caught up to him.
"I told Ma we'd have dinner on our own."
"Thanks, Pete."
"Didn't they think you'd go into the Navy? You've been at the Academy for four years." The disbelief in his voice was palpable.
"There are different ways to do it. They thought I'd go into the reserve. Hell, until this year, I thought I'd go into the reserve. But I'm taking a regular commission."
"It's law school. Dad thinks you should go now."
"I know. I think I need to get away for awhile. I like the flying I've done. If my first assignment goes well, I'll get to flight school – aircraft carrier duty.""That'll take you away for a long time."
"If I get it."
"You get everything you want."
"No, I don't. But I've done well, I think. And I have at least a month off, maybe as long as six before my first assignment."
"Cool. I'll be out of school soon. Can you show me how to do real exercises?"
"If you don't mind being ready at six a.m., you can run with me in the mornings."
"Six?" Peter looked appalled.
"Six."
"Bet I can run faster." And, grinning, Peter took off down the shore. Nathan laughed for a moment, then chased after him.